Coach Dave Daubenmire
January 18, 2014
SUCK IT UP!
I don't how we became so soft. It wasn't always this way.
But today America is populated by a nation of whiners...those who always have somebody else to blame for what is happening to them.
It is the “blame Bush” philosophy that is permeating every area of society. If something bad happened to me it has to be somebody else's fault. Call the Doctor! Call the Lawyer! Call your Congressman! Call your mommy!
Call anyone who might be able to help me. I have been mistreated!
Here's a quarter, pal. Call somebody who cares.
What ever made you think that life would be easy? Where did we come up with the notion that life was supposed to be fair? Well, in my opinion, fairness is the enemy of achievement.
Nothing worth having ever comes easy.
Stop the whining. It is time to suck it up. Life ain't fair, Pappy.
“Let us not grow weary in well doing for in due time we shall reap if we faint not.” -Galatians 6:9.
There is a whole lot of fainting going on.
Learned helplessness, that is what I always called it. I spent 25 years as a special education teacher in the government schools and experience has taught me that many of the “behavioral” problems that we have in America can be cured with a little bit of old fashioned discipline.
But you aren't permitted to discipline a child anymore. That has become the new “cruel and unusual punishment.” Today we have “behavior therapists” (I remember when they were called parents) who can give you a thousand different reasons why Tommy acts the way he does.
“Tommy need his ass beat,” one of my teaching buddies said one day. “He doesn't need any pills. He needs to be taught to sit down and shut up.”
But Tommy is not alone. Everybody seems to have an excuse for their failures. Accepting responsibility for our failures is the first step in overcoming. How can kids ever learn to accomplish anything if they always have somebody else to blame?
I hate to tell you, but they are learning it from their parents.
It is time once again to teach our kids to stop whining. They need to be encouraged to suck it up. Parents need to be good role models by working harder and whining less. Especially in front of the kids. What was it Tom Hanks said in League of their Own...
“No crying in baseball.” That's right. No crying about how hard life is. Stop the whining.
How did we become such a nation of whiners? When we made the decision to let government become the Nanny State we yielded all personal responsibility for our future. Ben Franklin famously said the following:
Those who trade liberty for security deserve neither liberty or security. That is what we have done. We have traded accomplishment for comfort.
I hear tell the road to hell is paved with good intentions...
It is time to stand up and push back. We must teach our children once again to fight!!
Over my long coaching career I have had many meeting with parents regarding an issue they had with me and their son. Dads tend to be reluctant to confront the coach, but usually the prodding of Mommy will eventually drag them into a meeting. Very few Dad's will say to their wives, “Stay out it.” Things would be better if they did.
Usually the meetings follow the same pattern. A concern is raised about “fairness”, “special treatment”, or not “liking” their son. The solution they are all looking for is for more playing time so that their son's feelings don't get hurt.
Dad usually opens the meeting...but Mommy is the one who does most of the talking once things get rolling. Mom's tend to operate according to emotions...Dad's tend to internalize their thoughts. After genuinely listening to their concerns most conversations end with me making the following points.
Life is not fair. This is one of the best lessons that we can ever teach our children. The “helicopter” parenting that is going on in America is overprotective. In a loving attempt to shield our children from pain we try to create an environment with everyone's emotional needs are met. That is why we no longer keep score in youth league games. That idea had to originate with a mother or a child psychologist. It creates a false sense of importance. The idea that I have a “right” to something has created an entitlement mentality that is squashing initiative. I saw where a high school in California last year had 22 valedictorians. How about a sudden death spelling test to get a REAL winner? Probably wouldn't be fair...so let's dilute the real meaning of the word champion.
You won't always like your boss. The number of kids who don't play sports because they don't like the coach is astounding. Where are the parents? What a valuable opportunity to learn that they are not always going to like the guy in charge and that they must learn to work with those with whom they disagree. Working for a tough, demanding coach will make life easier for the child down the road. Are we going to be shocked when later in life they get a divorce, or get fired because we robbed them of the opportunity to work in a hostile environment? Tell them to suck it up...get out there and play. Make the best of a bad situation.
In the last of the six Rocky movies Rocky shared this advice with his son:
“No one is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you can hit. It is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now if you know what you are worth then go out and get what you are worth. You gotta be willing to take the hits and not saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that.”
Isn't that what we want for our kids. We could sure learn a thing or two from Rocky. Suck it up!! That's how winning is done.
Sometimes life kicks you in the groin. The idea that everything is going to come up roses is a fairy tale. You can have the best boss, the best job, the greatest family, you can live your life according to the book and at some point you are going to get kicked. It happens to everyone. We live in a sinful world occupied by sinful men and there is a lot of collateral damage as a result of the actions of others. Sometimes innocent people get hurt. How will you react when that punch in the gut comes your way? Why do we want to shield our children from the lessons of life that they can learn as a young child? Character is not shaped by hard times; Character is revealed in hard times. You take a setback and turn it into a comeback. Winning matters. To the victory goes the spoils.
Look at what is currently passing as leadership in America. Look at the subservient attitude that the average Christian man displays. Look how content we are to permit government to intervene in every area of the life of the individual American.
The government is handing out the trophies to everyone who plays. Soon we'll be out of trophies.
The Devil isn't fair. He is an equal opportunity destroyer and he is using pop-psychology to soften the underbelly of the American male. Life is hard.
Look in the mirror, Buster. We are sissifying and emasculating everything tough in our society. Our men don't even look like men anymore and. They are doing all the can to criminalize football...the quintessential sport of the average man's man. They call guys like Phil Robertson “gruff” and “coarse” even though he clearly represents the views of millions of Americans.
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We need men who will fight their way to the top rather than the current crop that lie, cheat and manipulate their way to the top.
I heard a story about a young kindergarten kid who wouldn't stay in his seat. His teacher scolded him and threatened him with loss of recess.
The still boiling little tyke raised his hand as he sat dutifully in his seat.
“Mrs Brown I want you to know that I will sit down and be quiet because I don't want to miss recess...but I am still standing up in my heart.”
Suck it up. Stop the whining. Life is hard.
Keep standing up on the inside. That is message we need to send to our kids.
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