THE ANTIDOTE: GENUINE LOVE
November 13, 2002
From the first human tragedy to the heartless snipers who terrorized the Washington area, all our past and current troubles are caused by the absence of genuine love. With the exception of only a handful of people, nearly everyone who has ever lived came into the world and died without having been genuinely loved, ever. This may include you and everyone you know. Shocking.
Look at your face, up close, and the faces of all the adults around you. Observe those deepening frown lines, which begin on each side of the nostrils and end on each side of the upper chin. Look closely at your own down turned lips. This is often a sure sign of a sad soul. Notice all the slumped shoulders, evidence of a kind of "heaviness," and a malnourishment of the whole person, dying from the lack of love.
We are all quietly emaciated, not unlike a person who hasn't eaten in months. People are tired, famished. Our core selves, which power our minds and bodies, have, since childhood, been forced to exist with little to no infusion of energy from our source. We consume everything except what we need to survive spiritually. We have not as yet seen that without spirit nothing else can exist.
Junk food is the equivalent of the counterfeit love so embellished by our world. Because we have no comparison, we cannot see that we function as if barely alive and that only by emotional energy, which consumes rather than gives energy.
Teens from 14 to 19 years old are engaging in sex at an alarming rate. The argument among the experts is between funding more contraception and the teaching of abstinence. It was the teaching of abstinence that got Miss America, Erika Harold, in big trouble with the Miss America committee. She was censured by the committee for telling youngsters "about the debilitating effects of premature sex." No such censure for Miss Gay America, who preaches lesbianism. What must be understood is the vehement objection to healthy behavior for young people and a classic rejection of true love. Even educators want-unconscienciously, I believe-to harm youngsters with their endorsement of a poisonous, false love.
Whether the Miss America committee or the Noble Prize committee's award to former President Jimmy Carter, nearly every movie you see, or the whole of the American culture, there is an insistence for the poison. Moreover, despite progress in every area of human endeavor, even intelligent men fall dumb and silent when the poison is held up as genuine love. And if anyone suggests that the poison is poison, that person is blacklisted, called "out of touch" or "insensitive."
False love explains why many children, too young to understand the fatality of what has invaded their minds, crave the most destructive forms of everything. First, they are starved for genuine love, which most have never experienced. Then their naiveté sends them on a wild goose chase for the antidote everyone says is easily found. In time, their rage sees the betrayal. This perpetuates an angry cynicism that eventually destroys them.
Genuine love is a form of light, which was our soul's original food. Love is not a sentiment or an emotion. It is power in the purest form. Having forgotten the source, we are reminded by the traveling Israelites, who ate food that fell from heaven, daily. Manna, as it was called, was the physical example of inward nourishment. It comes to all those who journey in search of that quiet place in their own hearts. We are like those Israelites. They, and we, become bored with genuine love from heaven and demand "quail," representative of false love. Here it is again. Even when we have access to genuine love we refuse it for a better-tasting succulent, in the forms of money, notoriety, lust, pride, power, sex, etc. Six thousand years and we have not nailed this down yet. Only genuine love will work.
There is no way to receive real love if you will not let go of the look-alike, convinced you already hold the genuine article. We have three selves. One we put on like our clothes. We show this self to the world. It is usually phony and designed to fit in. The second self is more private. Only our family sees this one. It is still largely contrived but closer to what we really are. Your anger is freed to express itself here. Your sons and daughters know the effects of this semi-private self. And they often hate you for the contradiction.
The third self is mostly hidden, even from yourself. This self is the reason you create the first self. God refers to this self as "your hidden part." This is the disfigured, real you. It carries a scar for every infraction against youself, your family, neighbors and God. We are terrified of facing this self. No such fear would exist if you didn't already know something of how ugly you are inside. Your greatest fear is exposure. You know and don't care that God sees you as you are. Him you can avoid, you think. You want and need genuine love but not if you have to go to Him for it. And so, at an early age you began to grow uglier by the day. Eventually you collapse from fatigue.
Genuine Love is less a feeling and more a power source, like fire. Love has a magnetic quality and responds to its counterpart, you and I, when our call is genuine. God's love, bouncing off the sphere of paradise, is one thing, but when it transforms the unloving its true nature is realized. I do not imply that God needs humans to express his love, without which he is missing something. No. I say that a fuller appreciation of real love is realized when it melts and changes us. Likewise, a hammer is no less a hammer even if it is never used. But when that hammer is used to build a mansion, then it is fulfilling a more profound purpose.
Look at the birds. Have you ever seen a sluggish one? All of them sing and leap through trees limbs at full speed, without touching a leaf. They are happy, compulsively so. Would the Creator do less for us? So why are we, all of us, so sluggish?
We are mistaken if we believe that love exist in the midst of chaos. Chaos would fall to the ground and burn if real love were to make a sudden appearance. We hear it all the time; "I loved my son or daughter with all my heart, and they chose drugs over me." But real love dominates everything else, no exceptions. It is never defeated when it is present. Any other implication suggests an impossibility, that God failed. It is we who fail to find authentic love. We are too cozy with the false love.
Look at your son, daughter or spouse. Get close and look them in the eye. Be still and notice the uneasy feeling creeping in. What is that? Is it a gulf that exists between the two of you? It is the absence of love for each other, despite what you may tell each other, verbally. Hold that contact, and speak to each other in truth about important things. You'll find that looking people in the eye isn't easy. Behind your eyes and theirs is the soul, and behind the soul is God.
For those who faithfully practice the Foundation's observation excerise, and you have achieved a measure of objectivity, there is something you may have missed. Despite your many mistakes, daily, you often encounter a quiet that fills your entire being, when you meditate. It is often warm, illuminating and energizing. It is never rude. It is honest and powerfully gentle. You see yourself in this space. Notice there is no judgment or condemnation here. This is the love of God. It is kind and awarded to those who persevere in the stillness, no matter how long it takes or how rotten you are or how rabid your thoughts.
Despite your faults, your lungs never lose their capacity to take in air. You continue to eat, sleep and are the recipient of gifts, as if packaged by heaven itself, even while you are living selfishly. You are not the cause of your living. Your life is God's attitude toward you. A gladness about this truth should be your attitude toward those in the circle in which God has placed you.
Genuine love is the oldest brother of truth. It does not come without being called, drawn. Unconditional love? Toss that out the window. Real love has many conditions, the first of which is "you must seek it with all your heart." The call cannot go out if you are satisfied with the love you know has done nothing to transform your life. You know this is right.
Today, children are being absorbed by a love defined by gratification. No matter how the false love destroys millions of children through divorce, causes wars between nations, is deceit between men and women, we still have not advanced to see false love for what it is. We are conditioned to look for love out there, not realizing that looking locks real love out. This is like prescribing rat poison for headaches.
The body of a person indwelled by genuine love is warm, even when exposed to cold temperatures. Angry people often have cold hands, while real lovers do not get as cold as quickly. I do not imply that their body temperature is higher. It is normal, 98.6 degrees. But the source of that temperature is from a strong, constant source. If you have it, the inward heat source is like an invisible, electric blanket wrapped around the body. There are people who never have cold hands, are rarely sick, and walk with erect shoulders and heads. Some of them have found genuine love.
We can be vessels, and full vessels at that. Here is an acid test. How many of us who find ourselves in a position of power over our families (defenseless children) and fellows, and are unable to take even the slightest advantage? If you can honestly say that you cannot maliciously hurt others, you are on your way. Love never establishes itself by any form of brutality. It couldn't hurt a butterfly's wings. Real love (pure strength) never knocks people around, verbally, mentally, physically or spiritually. This is the power of genuine love. It can be yours the day you set your unwavering sights on it.
© 2002 Emanuel McLittle - All Rights Reserved
Sign Up For Free E-Mail Alerts
Emanuel McLittle has a Masters Degree and two decades of experience in Counseling Psychology. His keen insight, developed over 24 years, makes him qualified to deliver honest, unambiguous guidance. firstname.lastname@example.org