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Rural America In The Crosshairs

How Obama Illegally Bought The Black and Latino Rural Vote









By Ron Ewart
January 14, 2015

(This article is satire. Refer to Disclaimer at end of article)

SCENE 1: We enter the scene as Commodore Trump ushers President Obama out onto the plank in preparation for his jump into Davy Jone's Locker. President Obama was brought on board the USS Bill Ayers for trial at sea because the Congress would not impeach him. Walking the plank is the punishment meted out to the President by the officers of the ship, resulting from multiple and repeated violations of the law and an utter disregard for the Constitution. Senator's Reid and Congresswoman Pelosi came aboard as seconds for the President, but have been tied to the main mast as punishment for constant and irreverent interruptions at Obama's sea trial.

Midshipman Clinton has been designated to inflict additional punishment on Reid and Pelosi, if it becomes necessary. Commander Romney holds up the scroll of charges against President Obama in preparation for reading them out loud to the officers and crew before sending Obama to the deep. Commodore Trump is about to issue further orders to the crew as the scene unfolds.

Commodore Trump: "President Obama, stand where you are and don't move! Quartermaster, direct the helmsman to make way at top speed for the deepest waters in the ocean, preferably where there are schools of sharks. All seaman hop to and raise all sails on the main and mizzen masts, make fast the jibs, powder monkeys stand down, stow the grog and …… "

(Just then Senator Reid interrupts the Commodore mid sentence)

Senator Reid: "This is an outrage Commodore and I protest in the strongest terms against this extreme punishment of President Obama. The President thought he was well within in his rights to do what he did. His czars told him he could."

Commodore Trump: "Midshipman Clinton, if Senator Reid opens his mouth again give him a couple of whacks on his dumbie with the "cat." If that doesn't work, stuff a gag in his mouth."

(Congresswoman Pelosi starts to open her mouth but then closes it abruptly as Midshipman Clinton reluctantly raises the "cat" above her head. The ship is now headed out to the deep sea at flank speed, with all sails snapped taught in the wind. After the ship reaches the deep ocean, the sails are trimmed and the ship lies adrift on the surface, Commodore Trump speaks.)

Commodore Trump: "All hands listen up where you stand. Commander Romney, are you prepared to read the charges against the President?"

Commander Romney: "Yes Commodore but there are almost 100 of them. Do you want me to read them all?"

Commodore Trump: "Yes, yes, shiver me timbers lad, get on with it! I'll interrupt you if I think it's necessary. Proceed and be quick about it and don't be a drivelswigger!"

Commander Romney: "Yes Commodore. President Obama, as you await your punishment, the three senior officers of the USS Bill Ayers, after hearing all of the evidence against you in a fair trial at sea, in a unanimous vote, have found you guilty as charged for the following crimes."

"1. Appointment of a shadow tribunal of officers (you called them 'czars') who were not approved by the Congress or the Commodore and myself, yet this secret tribunal had overarching regulatory powers over all other senators, congressmen and the justices, a clear violation of the constitution."

"2. You received no approval from the Congress or the senior officers of this ship for your attack on Libya in violation of the War Powers Act. You lied to the Congress and the senior officers and crew when you said that there were no troops on the ground there, when in fact there were several thousand on shore. You continue to cover up the attack on our embassy in Benghazi where our Ambassador and 3 brave men died needlessly."

"3. You have betrayed the allies of our nation, Israel and Great Britain and placed the security of those allies in grave danger. You increased funding to the Palestinian Authority while you have entered into a pact with the terrorist group Hamas and the disclosure of British nuclear secrets to the Russians. You even gave missile codes to British Trident missiles to Putin."

"4. By your Dream Act Executive Order you have encouraged tens of thousands of illegal children and adults to cross our borders. Your current executive order that will give legal status to 5 million illegal aliens already here only create another magnet for more crossings. What are we to do with them? How will we feed them? Who is going to pay for their care? Millions of Americans could lose their jobs and go hungry because of your illegal actions. And worse, you have added more debt to this nation's already un-payable debt."

"5. You have telegraphed confidential and classified information to our enemies against the consult of your senior officers – while embracing negotiations with our enemies, Iran, the Taliban, and the Muslim Brotherhood. That's treason!"

"6. You and U. S. Attorney General Holder, betrayed the citizens of Arizona and forced upon them a great burden by not allowing them to secure their borders against this illegal invasion that you alone created. You and Holder conspired against several other states and deprived them of their autonomy and burdened them with greater costs, in violation of the 10th Amendment."

"7. You have engaged in cover-ups of illegally selling arms to our enemies and Mexican drug lords with the back door intent to disarm the American population. You have used the IRS as a political weapon against those who oppose your policies."

"8. You have negotiated bad deals with our enemies where are enemies get the goodies and America gets nothing in return."

"9. Evidence was presented at trial that your previous associates were domestic terrorists that you associated with before becoming President. You ordered that this ship be named after one of those terrorists."

"10. You have purposely ignored constitutional laws that you swore on oath to uphold, by providing special treatment to your friends and campaign contributors, changing laws, choosing winners and losers and triggering racism, animosity, jealousy and division within the Nation."

Commander Romney Pauses: "There is more Commodore. Do you want me to continue? Some of these charges are really juicy."

Commodore Trump: No, No, No, we've heard enough Commander. Enter the rest of the charges in the ship's log and send a copy by carrier pigeon to Congress. President Obama, you have heard the charges against you. Do you have any last words before your sentence is carried out?"

President Obama: "I have many last words Commodore and it should only take me about four hours to sum up my objections and complaints. I have never lied to the American people and I have always consulted with my czars before I made any decisions. If it's anyone's fault, it's my czars' fault, not mine. And further, go back through the records and you will find that the previous President, I believe his name was Bush, did the same things for which I have been accused. He wasn't forced to walk the plank. So it must be the previous President's fault as well. This whole trial and punishment for these alleged phony crimes, is a sham and a travesty of justice. There's not a smidgeon of substance to the charges. When I get out of this I'm going to file a formal complaint with the DC Circuit Court. I have friends on that court. They will overturn the fraudulent decision of this kangaroo trial and …..
(Suddenly, Commodore Trump interrupts the President.)

Commodore Trump: "Time's up Mr. President. You have had your say and like everything else that comes out of your mouth, it is always someone else's fault and you lie with every breath you take. I've been told that you and Michelle secretly fly the Jolly Roger over your bed in the White House. You've hornswaggled the American people and this crew for the last time. You have brought disgrace to the presidency. Jump into the sea and be done with it or I'll run ye through with me sword."

(Obama jumps off the plank into the choppy sea yelling "Allahu Akbar." The last the crew sees of him is his head bobbing up and down in the wake of the ship disappearing into the distance. A few sharks suddenly appear, but the President's fate is left to the mysteries of the briny deep, as the ship sails out of sight.)

Commodore Trump: "Midshipman Clinton, put Senator's Reid and Congresswoman Pelosi in irons and shove them down into the ship's bilge. Let 'em sweat in there for a while. If they survive in the bilge for a few days, put them on seaman's duties. They've been corrupt politicians for way too long. Then return to directing the ship's house keeping. Make those hollystones sing out smartly on the deck."

Midshipman Clinton: "But Commodore, I protest? Reid and Pelosi are my comrades and what difference does it make if the decks are clean?"

Commodore Trump: "That's an order Midshipman Clinton! Quit your belly aching and jump to!"

Commander Romney: "Commodore Trump, I ask the Commodore for his permission to rename the ship the USS America and scrap forever from the records, the USS Bill Ayers."

Commodore Trump: "I agree Commander. Quartermaster, direct the ship's painter to change the name of the ship to USS America and so record it in the ship's log. It's high time this ship had a name for which it can be proud."

Quartermaster: "Aye, Aye Commodore."

We leave the scene as Commodore Trump returns to his quarters and Commander Romney climbs to the poop deck. On the rail of the poop deck, he overlooks the rest of the ship with a gleam in his eye and a crooked smile on his face. He says to himself, "there is Karma after all." He barks an order to the Quartermaster to change course and return to port. To this day the ship's crew and officers and much of America have a silent dread that somehow Obama will survive the perils of the deep and return to take control of America under martial law by issuing an executive order for which he has no legal authority. The thought sends shivers down the spine of every man on board. A wave of revulsion rumbles through the bowels of the ship at the possibility of an Obama apparition.

ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE: President Obama has sullied the office of the President of the United States and brought shame and embarrassment to it. He acts as if he was King but is perceived as a buffoon. He is arrogant and a narcissist. He is laughed at and mocked by leaders all around the world for his weakness and lack of leadership, including both our allies and our enemies. He has insulted and turned his back on Israel, one of our staunchest allies. He makes diplomatic and cultural gaffs that are unconscionable. Every single one of his domestic policies has impeded America's economic and job growth. Like most socialist policies, Obama's and the Democratic Congress' nationalizing the health care industry under Obama Care is blatantly unconstitutional, takes individual control away from private citizens, is egregiously expensive and adds to an already unsustainable debt.

But worse than that, Obama is an imminent danger to American freedom and prosperity. He should be impeached rather than being forced to walk the plank. Sadly, neither punishment would seem to fit the crimes he has committed against America, the American people and the Constitution.

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It is not just Obama ladies and gentlemen. Presidents, politicians, judges and bureaucrats, at all levels of government, have become systemically corrupt over the last 100 years. Corruption is a flesh-eating disease that devours liberty. If there was a tried and true method to expose this corruption and return honor and integrity to government and the people, which of you will step up to the plate? We will reveal more on that subject in subsequent articles.

To learn more about the original watercolor painting for this article and the artist Dave Ewart, log on here. The original and prints are available.

DISCLAIMER: This article is and is meant to be satire only. Under no circumstances are we advocating violence against the U. S. president or anyone else for that matter ….. even if they are liberals.

[NOTE: The forgoing article represents the opinion of the author and is not necessarily shared by the owners, employees, representatives, or agents of the publisher.]

� 2015 Ron Ewart All Rights Reserved

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Ron Ewart, a nationally known author and speaker on freedom and property issues and author of his weekly column, "In Defense of Rural America", is the President of the National Association of Rural Landowners, (NARLO) ( a non-profit corporation headquartered in Washington State, an advocate and consultant for urban and rural landowners. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].


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But worse than that, Obama is an imminent danger to American freedom and prosperity. He should be impeached rather than being forced to walk the plank. Sadly, neither punishment would seem to fit the crimes he has committed against America, the American people and the Constitution.