Ellen Makkai -- The Bible is obscene? What a great marketing concept

THE BIBLE IS OBSCENE? WHAT A GREAT MARKETING CONCEPT

by Ellen Makkai
September 15, 2007
NewsWithViews.com

The Almighty has worked tenaciously to put Scripture into the mind of man and now a surefire marketing ploy pops up in Hong Kong, of all places.

Special packaging and warning labels may soon be slapped on Bibles there. Tipped off by an anonymous website, folks are complaining to the Television and Licensing Authority that the Bible is obscene. Truthbible.net claims that the Bible is loaded with negative imagery, including incest, rape and cannibalism.

And by golly, it is. This fortuitous turn of events has the makings of a spectacular ad campaign.

We Bible hawkers tend to lean heavily on Scripture�s positive aspects�Father, Son, Holy Spirit and their power to inhabit and rehabilitate human debris.

In efforts to appeal to every possible demographic group, publishers print a plethora of editions--multi-lingual, modern-language, inter-linear, red-letter, new, old, international, revised, expanded, amplified and internet. Sales tactics include leather-bound, denim-clad, lace-trimmed, tie-dyed, acacia-wood and camouflage Bible covers.

An unnecessary effort, this book has what it takes to sell.

Forget Isaiah�s eloquence, Jeremiah�s pathos and the Resurrection. Go for the degradation to move those units. Human nature being what it is, �NC-17,� �Adults-only� or �XXX-rated� labels will shoot Bibles off the shelves. Never again will it be an undusted ornament in Grandma�s living room.

For the uninitiated, the Bible has dismemberment, incest, prostitution, deceit, insanity, child sacrifice, rape, witchcraft, voyeurism and hemorrhoids. The steamy Song of Solomon curls your hair. Jezebel was tossed from a window to hungry dogs. David alone provides lust, adultery, treachery and murder. And his kid is killed while hanging by his hair in a tree. It doesn�t get much better than that.

Talk about product placement; adult bookstores will park Bibles next to their smut. Grocery check-out aisles will stack Cosmo and Psalms. There will be Bible-sightings at Starbucks and Hollywood-types will vie for Bible-based scripts.

Public school sex-ed is big into porn so with any luck, the Bible could become a trendy text with an added bonus; avid readers will eventually run across cures for shame and rejection--after they�ve acted out what they learn in condom class.

Hong Kong�s attitude could boomerang for our benefit. With a little marketing savvy, we�ll successfully push the next must-have item. The gift-giving season is on the horizon and thanks to its sex and violence, the Bible is a great read on a cold winter�s night.

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Bible Byte: ��he took his knife and laid hold of his concubine and cut her in twelve pieces, limb by limb, and sent her throughout the territory of Israel.� Judges 19:29

From 1985 to 2002, Ellen Brewster (Makkai) wrote for several major metropolitan editorial pages, a well-known website, Creator's Syndicate and a national Christian publication. Her columns provided a counterpoint to the vast majority of secular writers who frequently discount or insult the faith community. The small feature, "Bible Byte," offset daily horoscopes in one local newspaper.