PART 1 of 3
February 28, 2012
[Note: From the book How to Survive Your Parents. Print, download and Kindle versions of book available through FHU website.]
One of the most dangerous things you can do to a child's mind is to mold his character. In fact, everything that is wrong with us stems from others' shaping influences on our minds in our formative years. If only we knew how to be ourselves, there could be no unsolvable problems. Conflicts have arisen and problems have appeared just from us not being ourselves. It is just that simple!
So the question arises, how did we forget to be ourselves? And the answer is: because of the pressure and the corruption of a childhood conditioning process—"culture," in other words. Culture is like a prevailing disease against which the individual must become uniquely immune if he is to survive. This may come as a surprise to you, but the hand that rocks the cradle also holds the key to the perpetuation of culture.
Children were not designed to be performing circus beasts, conditioned by trainers for the pleasure-taking of the system. They are little people whose rights and spiritual needs must be properly understood and fulfilled. Now, I am not saying that parents should give up disciplining their children. I am saying that parents should remember that children are people, not beasts. Children differ from the wild beasts in that they have souls; thus, different rules must apply in rearing them.
A different kind of love than that which brings children into the world is required if you are to bring up an emotionally stable family. Animal "love" merely pro-creates animal bodies, but Divine love breathes life into the souls which live in them.
Superhuman perception, energy and endurance are needed if you are to bear the outrages of other egos. Survive the ravages of your mother, your marriage-partner and your kids, and you will surely know the meaning of happiness. Just think of it this way: without mad bulls there would be no good matadors. The point is that un-less you learn to properly cope with the cruel stresses of life, you cannot grow in understanding.
It is the father's duty to lead his entire family to the Divine Source of their existence. Woman is only the source of the fallen, natural existence. Uncanny wisdom must be applied in dealing with her. Improperly regarded, she can be as lethal as a poisonous snake; loved and understood, she can be more precious than rubies.
The mother as lover and central figure in the home is a manipulator, seducer and destroyer, who knows not what she does.
Children depend on mother's warmth and charms to sustain their "rising fallen natures," which she gave them. But at a certain phase father is duty-bound to save them from her clammy, "loving" grasp. It is father who should be lover and center of family fascination, not mother. Everything should revolve around him; if it doesn't, God help you!
Unlike the lower animals, man has two natures which war with one another for ascendancy. This dual-nature must be considered in rearing children.
A body is born from a body, and a spirit from a spirit.
All newborn infants arrive through mothers by way of nature, conceived through fathers' inherent weakness for mothers. Sons of men are first natural creatures, but they can go on to mature into spiritual beings.
It is only through being sincerely committed to family life that married men discover truth more deeply, which enables them to conquer their weakness for women. Slowly but surely, men must outgrow their carnal need for female reassurance; they must learn to fail less with them. A failing man cannot become a woman's authority; nor can he implant his good father image in his male children, or set the stage for his female offspring to attract strong, noble men.
The process of becoming a really good parent is in itself a growing-up experience. As you correct your child, the naughty child in you is loved. Unfortunately, most parents have had little, if any, corrective love in their formative years. They bring with them into marriage the hell of their parents, and various childish, selfish cravings. More often than not, a man is just another child to his wife, competing with the baby for momma's affections—a spoiled brat, teasing his wife (the way he did his momma) to let him have his own way. When husbands and wives are immature, they are on the same emotional level as their children, so they are not only involved with their own childish intrigues with one another, but with their children's sniveling rivalry as well! So, everyone in the family continues to evolve madly and wildly against the Spirit, and there exists no referee, no modifying factor of Divine authority in the home. And that is what is behind all family tragedies.
It is the male ego-weakness, seeking love, which tempts the female to take over and become the power. Female domination sets little girls up to seek weak men (like their father), and male children to seek dominating wives (like their mothers), so that original sin perpetuates itself through succeeding generations of hell on this wretched earth.
Because of the duality of earth and heaven in their natures, children need two kinds of sustaining love:
First, they need sensual affection from mother. Second, they need the ultimate—‘agape,’ or Godly, fatherly—love to save them from the curse concealed in smother-love.
Father-love must override and correct excessive female doting. Mother's emotional love, if not eventually modified by father's emotionless love, overdevelops the child's prideful ego and eventually ruins the child who came into the world by the seduction of the father.
While female love may be the kind that makes the world go 'round, it is also the kind that destroys it. While sensuous love is needed for one phase of (animal) growth, it must be transcended to attain the next. In order to save his children from their mother, a man must first discover how to save himself from his wife.
Children need some kind of ego reassurance to help them physically mature toward the threshold of Reality. First a child grows in the ego way; later, he is supposed to develop humility. But most of us don't even know what that other way is. So we grow up—and then down—with a woman's loving help; we continue to perpetuate the misery of our "birth-wrong." For no apparent reason (because we are so unaware) we feel guilty, self-conscious and inferior.
Even if we do realize that mother's uncorrected, unloved spirit is operating behind the scenes, there is little we can do. Tradition has granted her—like it or not—the role of lover and despot. Women-libbers notwithstanding, motherhood is still looked upon with misguided worship in our culture. But it is actually a mysterious psychotic weakness that causes man to embrace evil in the woman, rather than the woman herself—which makes her into a devil.
An understanding of our origin in needed if we are to avert our prideful destiny—suffering, tragedy and death. The lie stands at the beginning of life as we know it, and false love brings us to the end; false love is part of the conspiracy of the lie.
Love is from a god, and for a god. Man's need of a woman makes the woman his god. Man that is born of woman is created in her image and her likeness, and is dependent on her reassuring, loving presence. This may very well be animal life—but it also happens to be the life that leads to spiritual death.
The guile that originates with woman is the world's most powerful and destructive hypnotic force. Any man who hopes to become a leader of men must be a female at heart. Watch the seductive powers of popular politicians as they fascinate, lie-love and bamboozle the masses for votes. Remember, love is from a god and for a god! Therein lies the secret of Satan's power.
The earthy, sustaining love which all prideful people need—not true love at all—is as vital to them as food. But, there must come a day when love will drive both the woman who provides it, and the man who receives it, into the common madness!
Ego-selfhood develops naturally from its relationship with mother; but a fatherly warmth is desperately needed to help every child transcend the death grasp of a female "god," earth-life giver—and life-taker. ("God" giveth and "God" taketh away!)
It is a very unusual child indeed who can survive his mother without a father's love. In search of love, children will sell their souls. A mother whose son had turned to homosexuality once told me of the time her son screamed with agony at his weak, unhearing, uncaring father, "I became a homosexual because I was looking for a father!"
Until he is saddled with the responsibility of raising a family, a man can avoid facing his weakness. But once "safely" inside the prison walls of family life, he sees who is really in charge. Up to that point he lives in a fool's paradise, dreaming that he is "into" something which he is not, assisted by his perverted helpmate/playmate.
Everyone despises a weak father, even those who pretend to love him (in order to use him). Because of his weakness he is unfaithful, and his children go astray, while his wife is driven to other men, seeking love she will never find. Soul mates outside marriage turn out to be cell mates. For "good behavior" there is "reprieve" from marriage—but never from the lower kind of hell.
Gentlemen of the Light, seek the ideal of which I speak, or else suffer the hell of a second fall—for living with a woman without true love is pure hell.
Observing the wreckage of your own and your children's lives should sober you and drive you to seek the answer. No wonder you feel guilty and responsible! Of course you wring your hands in desperation! Of course you long for an opportunity (that may never come) to do it over again!
Immaturity and selfishness in dealing with your family has caused you to miss the boat as far as your own spiritual development is concerned. But hold on! Don't despair! There is a way out. And it has something to do with looking at love in a different light!
Remember that need is the only kind of love a man has to give. And remember too, that love is for a god and from a god. Through your inherited but unholy need for ego support—look who has become your god now! (Or should I say, look at who are your gods.)
The only love a person can feel is need. And need is an anxiety which can be fulfilled in a right way or a wrong way. To need a woman is to be fulfilled in an infantile, dead-end, egocentric way: Good or bad, all love is need, but true love becomes a burning bush, a fire that is enduring and overwhelming. The fire in Moses' burning bush had its own (invisible) fuel source that was not the bush: it burned and was not consumed.
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Seek, then, that indwelling, eternal energy source. Fuel your love with life from within. A candle burns from the melted wax rising up the wick. Without wax, the wick burns out. Take heed therefore, that you do not burn yourself out living from the energies of your own love/hate and frustration. Alas, without "the fuel from within" you are bound to burn the energy of the wick itself. You burn yourself out; you burn out your family.
You came into this world with just so much life-force, and when that energy is spent, you find yourself at the end of your rope—and of your life. Be careful how you react: don't give your energy to sin, to false gods, in your hunger for approval and devotion.
(To be continued in Parts II and III.)
[NOTE: The antidote to becoming or remaining entangled in emotional love/hate, is learning to deal properly, i.e., without resentment, to pressure of any kind. My Be Still and Know meditation exercise shows you how to do this and helps you practice remaining in the proper state. You can try it before you buy it and, if you like it, purchase your own copy, at fhu.com or by calling 800-877-3227.]
Listen to Roy Masters LIVE call in radio show Monday to Friday from 9 PM to 11 PM Pacific on KDWN Radio in Las Vegas, NV.
© 2012 Roy Masters - All Rights Reserved
Roy Masters—who in his 80s continues to broadcast the longest-running counseling show in talk radio history, his internationally syndicated daily radio program Advice Line, grew up in pre-WWII England. He started his journey toward understanding human nature when as a teen he saw a stage hypnotist at a vaudeville show in Brighton. The hypnotist easily put volunteer subjects in a spell and made them do outlandish things, like dancing with a broom and forgetting their own names.
Puzzled by the hypnotist’s mysterious power, Roy distinctly remembers pondering the question: “Why can’t hypnotism be used to make people act sensibly, rather than foolishly?” Inspired by the idea of harnessing this baffling force for good, he later pursued the art of hypnotism and established a successful hypnotherapy practice.
After several years of practice, Masters made his central and pivotal discovery about the root of people’s emotional problems, addictions and complexes. He realized that people did not need hypnosis, because their core problem was that they are already hypnotized—not by a clever stage performer, but by the stresses, pressures and seductions of daily life.
He used his knowledge to discover a way to help us become de-hypnotized, and discovered that the root of the power of negative suggestion lay in our wrong emotional response, that of resentment. Masters’ remarkably effective exercise, a simple observation technique called Be Still and Know—is at the core of his unmatched track record in helping people overcome even the most serious mental-emotional problems, and is the centerpiece of a successful program within the U.S. military community (“Patriot Outreach”) that is helping thousands of military personnel and their families cope with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).