PART 1 of 2
Holding a Tiger by the Tail
As an emotional person, you are caught between the horns of suppression and expression. People play on your weakness (your need for that emotion) and make you do things for which you are later sorry; or they force you to suppress yourself until you become sick and confused. Out of desperation you may join the “Let your hair down and get it off your chest” club. So what one wicked person motivates you to feel, another fiend helps you to do, and yet another “forgives.”
You surely made the classic ego mistake of fighting faults and emotion with emotion, but it is like fighting fire with fire. And you felt upset and defeated. you wanted sympathy,—more of that emotional “security.”
As you grow more aware the sensation-comfort crowd will home in to make lots of noise to try to distract you to prevent you from becoming aware so you can leave them behind and set a healthy but painful example to them.. Lo and behold! All of a sudden you may get the sympathy or glory you have been craving. To try to make you doubt your new outlook, they will show “concern” with your sanity and devote themselves full time to your “salvation” and cure. They will go to great lengths to “rescue” you: introduce you to new friends, music, medicine, dope, all kinds of scientific or philosophical or religious hogwash, and even bother you at all hours of the night.
When you see these signs, you can be sure that you have found something that frightens them. You must not heed their advice! Listen instead to yourself. Hold fast! Meditate for strength and soon you will be less sensitive to those appeals. God’s grace will shatter the hypnotic spell of environmental conditioning for you.
Once the spell is broken, your rotten corrupt self begins to boil away and your true self emerges to stand as a witness to God’s grace. People are consciously asleep—it takes an aware person to awaken them. They all hide behind the “nobody is perfect” routine and can get away with their illusions fairly well until they meet someone who is really awake (conscious).
As you become more aware, you make other people self-conscious. Probably your therapist will be the most threatened—but hold fast! You might even save him.
Intellect in Place of Understanding
Worldly rhetoricians harp on the fact that emotion is normal for people—but only because such feelings work to their benefit. If we didn’t respond emotionally, we could never be used or exploited. And as long as we believe them (which we will, as long as it suits us), we can never rise above our slavery and problems.
Understanding of these principles does not come under the category of institutional knowledge. Understanding, you see, is the wordless language that becomes conscience. If we don’t want to understand, then we employ high-sounding intellectual arguments to escape guilt. Once we use the (emotion-based) intellectual remedy, we become addicted. More guilty after more study, the ego spurs on the intellect to serve it with bigger and better reasons to explain its growing faults.
Armed with a veritable arsenal of knowledge, we can (emotionally) bamboozle people and blind them to our faults. We use our keen minds as rapiers to win unfair advantage and to cut others apart for glory and pleasure. We become part of an intellectual tyranny. Like drunkards thirsting at the bar of knowledge with the familiar bartenders: the psychologists, professors and ministers serving up what our egos thirst for.
When you look to the worlds of science, philosophy and religion for examples of people “helping” people, you almost never see the forces of good pitted against crime and corruption. What you almost always see—when you look carefully—is evil merely playing different roles. This is why the world never improves.
Hiding From the Truth
So stop making excuses. Stop seeking advice and emotional security. Give up a few “friends.” Be alone for awhile. See then if your embryo conscience doesn’t become more tangible, informative, even friendly. Failing this true experience, your only recourse will be to return to the usual comforters in search of a futile band-aid for your wounded pride.
Most counselors will tell your ego what it wants to hear. They won’t tell you the truth lest they lose you as a plum patient. Most of them are aware of the games they play with you, but your weakness and the profit motive are far too strong a temptation for them. Using the classic excuse of all tempters, they justify their loathsome practice with a secret rational such as: “If it weren’t for me (motivating, “healing” and helping them to be something), where would they be, what would they have? Nothing!”
What with all these games and self-delusion, , it is not long before the doctor becomes a patient himself. After his treatment, he promptly feels guilty again for the kind of help he gives. He no more understands what is happening to him under the care of his doctor than his patient can understand what is happening under his care. What doctors do for people sends doctors off to their own doctors.
Yes, we are “awake” (as it were), but only as predators — preying on the faults and weakness of others. But we don’t feel so good as a result— and off we go to our remedies.
Sex Maniacs in White
God help the “poor” doctor on top of the totem pole. To whom does he turn? The suicide rate for doctors is reportedly one in fifty deaths—and even higher for the psychiatric profession. Ladies, beware of the wolf in doctor’s clothing. God help you if you fall into the clutches of one of these neurotic sex maniacs. Chances are if you are confused, your helplessness will excite him and give him ideas. This may lead him to diagnose your problem as “sexual frustration” to solve his own problem. The prescription? Lots more sex or—treatment on his couch—a sort of “socialized” medicine. A nickel for every woman who has received that advice would make any man rich.
Not infrequently, patients get the upper hand and use their doctors. Since doctors often become emotionally involved with the sick patients who try to use them, the designing womon can play along while diluting their authority. Toying with the doctor’s confusion, she learns to feel superior and more adequate through making a monkey out of him. She gets a bigger charge out of doing to the analyst what she has already done to her husband (which drove her to the analyst in the first place).
Her “falling in love” with him is usually nothing more than a variation on a theme, her love being the excitement of a new form of loathing. The doctor—usually feeling guilty—begins to seek his patient’s forgiveness. The patient indicates that she will give it as long as she get more treatment. So his treatment becomes one of giving “treatment”— he is just as damned when he does, as he feels damned if he doesn’t.
Whatever the cause of your need, you may interpret a sick need for doctor’s services as love and so become more sick for it. Another reason to see and use him. Your need becomes the assurance the ego of the physician thrives on.
Look into your past—you will see that this relationship is a duplication of your own need for a parent to sooth your hurts, for your father’s need for your mother, and so on. Each of us, if we can manage it, promotes need, weakness and dependency to profit by it in some way.
Promoting Illusion for a Profit
We all feel right and secure relative to another’s greater misfortune. When we are wrong, that “right” is the only kind of security we know. Unconsciously, we “love” and sympathize with people’s weaknesses, sicknesses and faults, trying to secure for ourselves that upper hand of authority.
Unfortunately, all cures, remedies and sympathies actually sicken the helper as much as the “helped.” The burden you carry as a problem solver swells the head of our helper in turn and makes him a tyrant over you. So, even as you lead to hell you are being led to hell. In the comforter game the biggest liar gets to be the authority.
A victimized child may develop an insatiable appetite for the idolized parent. Idolatry like this is evidence of corruption by the idol. “Love”—that is, a need for what corrupted us—is not really love at all. No honest mother should want her baby to nurse forever. Surely she should love in such a way that frees her child from her care.
People cannot originate love.
People have no real love to give of themselves. A need for the love of people is nothing more than a misguided and distorted yearning for God’s love. When people make you need them, your craving for them fulfills their secret need to play God (and your secret need to play God-maker). And with these needs satisfied, their appetite grows and can never be appeased. Worse yet, you look on this appetite with favor, seeing it as a compliment to your own appealing personality, so you cannot stop feeding it. When you become a parent your child will suffer the same fate—corrupted and sacrificed to feed your deficiency.
Neurotic and psychotic doctors or parents always promote and cripple their victims. Like slave-masters of old, they need the dependence of their charges as a vampirish ego-security. Now you can see why the love of people makes us so soul sick—sick for love and sick of love—and why the hope of a cure through such “love” is itself a sickness to death. Of course, the sort of “love” we are now discussing, is not real love.
Helping You to Hate
The technique of irritating and weakening you (in the guise of loving and helping you) has become highly refined. All this hypocrisy and scientific “dedication to alleviate man’s suffering” tempts you to be angry, judgmental, guilty, inferior, sensitive, reactive, beastly, confused, afraid, and cut off from yourself. Your ambivalence of “love” and hate toward the hypocrisy serves its purpose—the smiling “benefactors” have triumphed, because they have entangled you in the same tangle they are stuck in.
When a person takes your anxiety away, you still have anxiety but you don’t know that you do. But this false sense of “freedom” from anxiety cannot be sustained without the helper’s services. You begin to feel guilty and “duty bound” as it were to “use” your helper again and again—but it is really you who is being used. (But please don’t consider yourself an innocent victim—you yourself are also using your helper.)
If you don’t burn down society, kill someone or find yourself behind bars through rebellion, you will end up with sickness, conflict and greater guilt than before—and need additional assistance to deal with that (still in the wrong way). .You may somehow sense that your helpers have contributed to your unhappiness and resent them—but that makes you more guilty and draws you even closer to them. Like the fly to the spider.
Penance for your guilt can take very strange forms. You will literally do anything, and pay any price, for a few short-lived moments of approval and comfort and reassurance. Perhaps when you have once again painted yourself into a corner of futility and despair, and when there is no more hope for you, you might just earn one final credit from your doctor by offering your broken corpse to the altar of science to be carved like a sacrificial turkey.
We are all products of sick generations and we grow up to seek our parental equivalents as objects to love and hate. And we find them: first in friendships, then in marriage, then at the doctor’s office and lastly at the undertaker’s parlor. The fact that the “cure” is really an integral part of the sickness, often is not even suspected.
In our blindness, we cannot solve anything. We grow more wretched. All we ever see are more and more symptoms. We are told that is the symptoms are the problem, not we ourselves—and we eagerly believe it, like fish taking the worm. Happily, there is a clue in your feelings that will further verify all of this.
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As you grow to need your doctor, parent or anyone, their demands upon you grow greater. You become increasingly powerless to refuse them. You are loath to offend them for fear that they will make you guilty (really the guilt that was never cured returning in full force without the “relief” they offered). You will find you are losing your freedom and must spend more and more time in the labor pains of “love” and therapy. Look again and you will see yourself take out your frustrations on your children—as your parents did on you.
If you will make a careful inspection of your feelings the next time you are “asked” to do something, or when you get your next appointment, see if you don’t catch a fleeting glimpse of hatred followed by guilt—and then comes the decision to oblige or go along with whatever is suggested. For part two click below.
Click here for part -----> 2,
[A special form of emotional self-control is the key to relating properly to yourself and to the world. Your very life depends on your responding in a right way to what is wrong with you, so that it cannot get or remain inside and rip you apart. To put up an invisible, impenetrable force shield of calm patience around you, you must learn to deal properly, without resentment, to pressures of any kind, whether from within or without. The audio exercises on my new credit-card-sized Cure Stress Device audio player show you how to do this and help you practice remaining in the proper state. To get your own Cure Stress Device, CLICK HERE, ]
Listen to Roy Masters LIVE call in radio show Monday to Friday from 9 PM to 11 PM Pacific on KDWN Radio in Las Vegas, NV.
© 2013 Roy Masters - All Rights Reserved
Roy Masters who in his 80s continues to broadcast the longest-running counseling show in talk radio history, his internationally syndicated daily radio program Advice Line, grew up in pre-WWII England. He started his journey toward understanding human nature when as a teen he saw a stage hypnotist at a vaudeville show in Brighton. The hypnotist easily put volunteer subjects in a spell and made them do outlandish things, like dancing with a broom and forgetting their own names.
Puzzled by the hypnotist's mysterious power, Roy distinctly remembers pondering the question: "Why can't hypnotism be used to make people act sensibly, rather than foolishly?" Inspired by the idea of harnessing this baffling force for good, he later pursued the art of hypnotism and established a successful hypnotherapy practice.
After several years of practice, Masters made his central and pivotal discovery about the root of people's emotional problems, addictions and complexes. He realized that people did not need hypnosis, because their core problem was that they are already hypnotized not by a clever stage performer, but by the stresses, pressures and seductions of daily life.
He used his knowledge to discover a way to help us become de-hypnotized, and discovered that the root of the power of negative suggestion lay in our wrong emotional response, that of resentment. Masters' remarkably effective exercise, a simple observation technique called Be Still and Know is at the core of his unmatched track record in helping people overcome even the most serious mental-emotional problems, and is the centerpiece of a successful program within the U.S. military community (Patriot Outreach) that is helping thousands of military personnel and their families cope with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).