Every year, 138,000 children are sexually abused in America. One out of six female college students have experienced either rape or attempted rape. Millions of U.S. citizens have severe sexual problems, ranging from homosexuality and sadomasochism to addiction to pornography and violent sexual assault. Why?
The following is not an academic and ineffective article on sexual abuse. It is intended for those millions of Americans who are either victims of sexual abuse, or its perpetrators, and who wish to understand and overcome their sexual problems.
The Madison Avenue Advertising Gang knows it, rock star idols know it, all child molesters know it, all pimps, pornographers, and sexual manipulators since the beginning of time have known the ugly truth: the secret knowledge they all share is that shock, violence, and trauma, as well as any form of intense excitement, can put our sensibilities to sleep and awaken the sleeping giant of the sensuous self. The formula is simple: cruelly violate the innocent in any off-the-wall method possible. Techniques can vary from promising what one does not intend to deliver, to the terror of beating, torture, and sexual molestation. Intense excitement, such as induced by modern rock music, can also provide the trauma necessary to awaken a sexual and psychological feeling for the violator, i.e., the rock star. When this violator or shock source gratifies his own craving through creating in his victim a need for him, then a "sexual zombie" is created, fixated to the will and the insane whims of the violator.
This may be a heavy way to start an article, but think for a moment about the millions of Americans who are hung up sexually on sadomasochism, homosexuality, lesbianism, pornography, rape, incest, bestiality, prostitution, and other sexually destructive behaviors. These people were not born that way. This article focuses on the little understood processes that corrupt a person's sexual life from healthy to destructive and life-threatening.
Corrupt the morals of young people, and not only do they become sexually addicted to the will of the violator, but their psyche undergoes a strange metamorphosis as well. Wrong begins to look right to them and they become an enemy of their own conscience and old-fashioned values. They cease to be democratic in their thinking. They see the evolution of their own strange and savage animal compulsions as freedom, and law and order as suppression of their natural "rights." The concern of the homosexual lobby with the "civil rights" of AIDS victims, and their complete lack of regard for the uninfected population, is an obvious example.
The reason why you will be able to understand the causes of sexual addiction referred to in this article is because, to varying degrees, we are all involved in experiencing the process. Reflect in yourself; see if you can observe subtle currents of dark forces awakening down there in your own interior as you read this. Ask yourself, are all my sexual compulsions natural? Am I violating anyone to obtain selfish gratification, or being used by someone to get theirs? Do I experience strange, perverted impulses and thoughts to inflict harm, or even murder?
Reflect for a moment on your own reality. You know you are not perfect. Well, whatever that imperfection is, it is causing certain feelings. These feelings may appear to be love, loyalty, dependency, and a need for approval—but strangely, many of us are attracted, not to good people who treat us fairly, but to some sort of lowlife who mistreats us. It happens to everyone.
You may not realize that you are a victim of sexual exploitation, or for that matter, you may be unaware that you are a violator, cruelly promoting and exploiting another's sexual need for you. You will rarely see the suffering you inflict to get gratification as cruel. For a season, you could have a very close, passionate relationship, but then all at once everything starts to fall apart. That is because some-thing has gone terribly wrong that you can neither see nor admit to, and it is evolving from certain subtle reactions, the nature and cause of which will soon become clear.
A certain type of seductive man understands the principle extremely well. He recognizes the type of women who resent irresponsible men, so he seeks out those women and obtains sexual thrills frustrating them. He may upset his wife or girlfriend simply through being irresponsible, and bingo—the resentful lady suddenly experiences sexual feelings for him. This is why men whistle at women on the street and speak rudely or suggestively to them. They know unconsciously what is being described here, that drawing a reaction from the woman, especially one of contempt and disgust, can mysteriously turn into a sexual compulsion.
If the woman falls into this trap, the man can use her emotional upset to sexually reinforce his own irresponsible sexual power trip. He will cruelly upset her again and again, awakening in her, through resentment, more compulsive feelings to sexually make up to him. In this vicious cycle the male gets all the sex he wants, while becoming more and more irresponsible, manipulative, and decadent—all the while imagining himself to be more of a man through all that sexual validation.
Observe how many troubled women tend to be attracted to this type of man. As a young man, I noticed that the crudest guys got the prettiest girls. I thought I was unworthy, but later on I found out that in order to attract such women, it was a prerequisite to be unworthy. To be blunt, animals were more exciting than gentlemen. Such women have no use for real men; neither does the animal have any use for the innocent woman—except that he can pervert her innocence to service his sick needs.
Let's delve into this principle more deeply. I might add, it would be helpful if you were to re-read this article until the central principle becomes clear; as it does, you will be on your way to being cured of your own sexual problems. Resentment holds the key to the cure. If you can experience cruelty forgivingly, without resentment, you will surely overcome sexual addiction.
Resentment is an aphrodisiac. To illustrate this critical point: A female child who has been molested by her father will, in her adult life, seek out the sexual love of a violating man like her father. The resentment toward her father's violation—or simply over his not being there for her—awakens a sensual feeling for him which, mistaken for love, is transferred to all the men in her life most like her father. This syn-drome produces, to say the least, very unsatisfactory relationships, ending in the very emotion which poisoned her originally: resentment. The love she has been programmed to seek is a violating love. In a sense, she will always be subconsciously trying to obtain love by having sex with a "father" she hates. In her condition, no other "love" will do. No other kind of man can validate her violated self. The "love" itself, being a violation, causes the resentment which awakens the need for sex, mistaken for love.
Strange as it may seem, sexually violated persons enjoy deeper and deeper perverse sexual relationships with their cruel mentors. The victim sees the violator as a lover. In the victim's eyes, the violator really appears to be the source of true love and completion for who she is. She will degrade herself to the point of worshiping her violator—elevating him (or her) to the status of God, willingly submitting herself to hate—producing humiliation. Remember, resentment intensifies the capacity to receive false love. (Homosexuals routinely ingest the feces of their "lovers." There is no end to the ways people can involve themselves sexually for the sake of what seems to them to be perfecting, vital love.)
While some women may loathe their own compulsions, their guilt drives them to escape ever more deeply into these encounters. Now, the men they gratify also happen to be violated and sexually awakened by the woman's hate-love need. So the men, too, begin hungering for fulfillment from the lovehungry women in a way which produces frustration and rage, and consequently a sexual compulsion to be filled. Frustration, out of intensified, unsatisfied desire, can reach the point of violent abuse through a combination of violent rage and lust. Men also become afraid of "love," because of its subtle, demanding violating qualities, and will seek violent sexual gratification out of hate-awakened sexual need. If you doubt what is being said here, ask yourself: What is the cause of the 200,000 rapes that were reported yearly in the U.S.? (And, the real figure is at least double that, as over half of all rapes go unreported.)
The nature of most addictive behavior is a craving for false love, a need which arises from the insecurity, caused by being upset throughout our lives. Resentment is a form of failure, which intensifies our need for the security of pleasure. Escaping into pleasure in turn becomes a trauma of denial which causes an even greater need for security—"love"—a vicious cycle. Escaping into pleasure becomes the traumatic experience that awakens sexual need for all the traumas of false love…leading to hate…and back to "love," endlessly.
Psychology acknowledges that all trauma is sexual. We can have a sexual feeling for just about anything. I am not saying that a sexual experience by normal, healthy people is traumatic, only under certain conditions. When that condition is present, sex which is too exciting becomes a violating trauma, breeding its own insatiable appetite for more sex. It's like drinking to forget the guilt of drinking. Whenever people use sex to escape feelings of inadequacy and guilt, it causes sex to become more exciting than it naturally ought to be. Sex, when it is used to deny guilt, is traumatic and highly addictive.
A classic example of sexual need awakened by sexual trauma is the kind of desire which arises from being sexually molested as a child, and never forgiving the violator. I emphasize the point of resenting the violator because it is mostly the hate and judgment which causes the trauma to "stick," rather than the incident itself. It is the woman's resentment-imprinted self which unconsciously seeks to nur-ture itself through recreating the hated experience. It accomplishes this through setting men up to fail. When sexual need is awakened in a man set up to be the "father" violator, his self-gratification at the expense of the victim reinforces the cruel parental event that awakened her sexual need for a sexual "father" originally. The most sexually active and seductive women are, more often than not, haters of men—they "love" in order to reinforce their judgment of their father; for a sick and violated woman, judgment is her way of never being wrong.
A wife could, without meaning to, and without realizing it consciously, marry a man with similar characteristics as her violating father, brother, or uncle, and unconsciously superimpose over him the hated memory image. Then, through her own "tapes," she could seduce/program him to molest/love her so as to unconsciously reinforce her hate/love, superior/sorry feelings for him. This relationship can eventually change a halfway decent man into the brutal hate object of her childhood. And it is, incidentally, a replay of what happened to her mother.
Terror and trauma imprint us all with the identity of the terrorist. This easily observable fact is nevertheless very difficult for us to accept. The truth of it offends our pride and tears down the illusion of being in control of our lives. Yet it is, nevertheless, true. The "loyalty" of the terrorist for an Ayatollah or a Hitler is subtly sexual/psychological.
It is that identity which has been implanted in us by our violator, that seeks reinforcement from the source. The only way we know how to exist in our corrupted (or fallen) state is through re-experiencing more corruption from our "terrorists." Hate and terror can feel like love, in that they make us feel as though we are being fulfilled or completed as a person. In a sense we are, but we are being completed as a terrorist. This is the root principle of sadomasochism.
Do you see how the only love a violated woman feels comes out of hating first? She can never "love" until she is upset. There is a "love" which evolves out of hate, and this fact can be very puzzling indeed. Simply, it is a "love" from evil for the evil which implanted it. So, a vicious cycle is formed. Having been set up by the dad she hate/loves, that false love will always awaken the lust of a man who is, or will become, a corrupting "father." He cannot help but take advantage of her easy virtue, which reinforces all the hate she has ever felt, which in turn makes the wrong side of her feel more contemptuously "alive" and frustratingly complete.
It happens over and over again, and continues until her life is ruined. Through many affairs, she is driven to a nervous breakdown or insanity—her mind and body prostituted for the sake of sick love.
I repeat: Every woman who is attracted to the wrong man is first attracted through sensing a familiar weakness that can serve this unconscious need to feed resentment. For a troubled woman, resentment is the sexual way of artificially elevating her degraded self to artificial feelings of superiority, known as contempt.
Now, on the other hand, from the man's point of view, sex experienced with a designing and troubled female becomes a terrible trauma. He, like the woman, experiences the same awakening of psychological/sexual cravings of body and mind, to the point of being obsessive. When a man discovers how he is really being degraded through his "loving," when he discovers that he is being betrayed, out-used, out-degraded, and set up to fail (you see, they are both degrading one another)—then, what do you think his reaction will be? Surely, it will be the same as the woman-outrage. Trapped, controlled, emasculated, and violated through what appears to be love, his reaction is pure hate. And what does rage do? It awakens sexual feelings, dulls his sensibilities, and makes him a violator, perhaps a rapist.
Unfolding before your eyes is the classic reason for so much suffering-—why men and women fight, and make up, and fight, and make up, over and over again. Each time they make up, they end up fighting more, until they are literally killing one another. Here is the meaning behind crimes of passion. Hate becomes lust, and lust becomes hate, endlessly.
Pornographers, exploiting the troubles between men and women, are on the leading edge of what could be described as a new world order. They are highly skilled in exploiting and creating human misery. They are literally altering and corrupting the nature of men, degrading wives, and destroying families. Men such as these hate good and think backwards.
Open your eyes. An erotic order of hell is coming up through "cracks in the earth" to dominate and terrorize a dehumanized race of beings. Behold the alarming rise of the gay/lesbian movement, violence in the home and in the streets, drugs, child abuse, sexual molestation, crimes of sex, and pornography. You have seen what our world is coming to, but now you know why. The cause is: 1) fathers who fail and violate their families, and 2) the victims' resentment of their father's failing. The key to overcoming your sexual hang-ups is deceptively simple, yet profoundly effective: learn to give up past resentment and learn how to overcome intimidation in the present.
If the memory of a trauma can be recalled and relived without the resentment toward the image of the violator, and if you can, moment by moment, overcome the resentment you feel toward those who currently intimidate you because they look or behave like those who hurt you in the past. And if you can recognize how resentment intensifies your need for love—which therefore is not really love at all—then you will be cured.
[A special form of emotional self-control is the key to relating properly to yourself and to the world. Your very life depends on your responding in a right way to what is wrong with you, so that it cannot get or remain inside and rip you apart. To put up an invisible, impenetrable force shield of calm patience around you, you must learn to deal properly, without resentment, to pressures of any kind, whether from within or without. The audio exercises on my new credit-card-sized Cure Stress Device audio player show you how to do this and help you practice remaining in the proper state. To get your own Cure Stress Device, CLICK HERE, ]
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Roy Masters who in his 80s continues to broadcast the longest-running counseling show in talk radio history, his internationally syndicated daily radio program Advice Line, grew up in pre-WWII England. He started his journey toward understanding human nature when as a teen he saw a stage hypnotist at a vaudeville show in Brighton. The hypnotist easily put volunteer subjects in a spell and made them do outlandish things, like dancing with a broom and forgetting their own names.
Puzzled by the hypnotist's mysterious power, Roy distinctly remembers pondering the question: "Why can't hypnotism be used to make people act sensibly, rather than foolishly?" Inspired by the idea of harnessing this baffling force for good, he later pursued the art of hypnotism and established a successful hypnotherapy practice.
After several years of practice, Masters made his central and pivotal discovery about the root of people's emotional problems, addictions and complexes. He realized that people did not need hypnosis, because their core problem was that they are already hypnotized not by a clever stage performer, but by the stresses, pressures and seductions of daily life.
He used his knowledge to discover a way to help us become de-hypnotized, and discovered that the root of the power of negative suggestion lay in our wrong emotional response, that of resentment. Masters' remarkably effective exercise, a simple observation technique called Be Still and Know is at the core of his unmatched track record in helping people overcome even the most serious mental-emotional problems, and is the centerpiece of a successful program within the U.S. military community (Patriot Outreach) that is helping thousands of military personnel and their families cope with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).