WHAT'S WRONG WITH A HOMOSEXUAL BISHOP?
By Paul Proctor
August 15, 2003
What is everyone so upset about? Every Christian web site I�ve been to this week is reeling in outrage over the new homosexual bishop. I don�t understand. Don�t we want everybody to come to church? Don�t we want everybody to feel comfortable and included? Don�t we want the church be relevant to the culture? Isn�t Christianity supposed to be fun? If homosexuals are so charming and adorable Monday through Saturday � why not on Sunday? If you find them funny and entertaining on stage, in the movies, on TV, in the mall, at school, at parties, in restaurants and at work, why aren�t they funny and entertaining in a church pulpit?
If society is screaming loud and clear that GAY IS THE WAY, isn�t it only prudent that we Christians educate ourselves on the latest trends and prepare for change? If we�re going to adapt and accommodate the queer community, (and we ARE a community oriented church, are we not) shouldn�t we be getting our act together like the Episcopalians, the Methodists and the Presbyterians and start being a little more flexible and creative? Don�t we want to keep growing and avoid the stagnancy and stuffiness of traditionalism?
If the next big thing is to celebrate and embrace �alternative lifestyles�, we had better rethink our way of doing church and retool our facilities accordingly or be left behind. Maybe YOU are a �metrosexual� instead of a heterosexual and just don�t know it yet or are unsure. If you are, you might actually be a homosexual in hiding, just waiting for a little encouragement, affirmation and experimentation to bring you out of the closet and into the brave new world. The church should be able to help you with that process.
Haven�t you heard? Being queer is not a bad thing anymore. We�re past all that now. We�ve progressed in an atmosphere of tolerance, diversity and unity. Therefore, it only stands to reason that homosexuality must be a god thing, right? And OH what a mighty work he�s doing! AMEN?
If 10% of the general population is �gay�, (and we know that percentage must be accurate because Dr. Kinsey and the mainstream media wouldn�t lie to us), aren�t we forfeiting a rather large demographic by not providing for them on Sunday? What better way to bring them in than with a homosexual in the pulpit?
Isn�t pragmatism what drives today�s purpose driven church? And isn�t church growth what we�re all really after here? Don�t we want everybody to come and be loved JUST AS THEY ARE and get �churched�? Isn�t that the great commission? After all � attendance is the true measure of success, is it not? And besides, wouldn�t you rather have everybody than nobody on Sunday morning or are you really that selfish, legalistic and intolerant? Still carrying that religious rulebook around, are you?
I mean LOOK � we wanted the 60�s generation and all its �born to be wild� baby boomers to join us on Sunday so, we applauded when they brought rock and roll into the church. Look what THAT did to the numbers! Later we wanted the grunge crowd to bless us with their presence each week so; we encouraged every one to dress down for Sunday worship and quit acting so pious �cause Jesus was really more like one of them than one of us. That REALLY brought them in, didn�t it? Then, to bring generation X on board; we decided that vanity and narcissism was probably OK with Jesus as long as we, in the interest of psychology and higher learning, called it �self-esteem� because you can�t �luv� Jesus until you �luv� yourself, can you? Now that the church is becoming queer friendly, we�re almost indistinguishable from the world! What a victory in Jesus!
Well, I suspect the church will grow now like never before. Won�t it be wonderful? Everybody can just cast aside their theological differences and hang-ups along with the cruel bondage of religious tradition and scripture and do whatever FEELS RIGHT in the cuddly name of Jesus. Lets burn those King James bibles we hate so much and hold hands around the flames of freedom while we watch �god� work in our midst. We�ll make ourselves some new and better bibles that say what we want to hear so nobody gets bored, confused or their feelings hurt with a lot of �Thou shalt nots�.
Yes, we�re finally getting the church we always wanted, aren�t we? All that polling and surveying has really paid off. Think of the possibilities! Once we�ve overcome the rest of our religious inhibitions, we can begin to express our �luv� for each other in new and exciting ways! Just imagine the unity and oneness we�ll experience on Sunday morning when we, at long last, are able to discard all this clothing we so foolishly hide behind � turn the lights down, turn the music up and clear the floor under candlelight and incense for a �luv� fest that everyone can feel a part of � regardless of age, gender or species, as the spirits lead us all into REAL worship.
� 2003 Paul Proctor - All Rights Reserved
Paul Proctor, a rural resident of the Volunteer state and seasoned veteran of the country music industry, retired from showbiz in the late 1990's to dedicate himself to addressing important social issues from a distinctly biblical perspective. As a freelance writer and regular columnist for NewsWithViews.com, he extols the wisdom and truths of scripture through commentary and insight on cultural trends and current events. His articles appear regularly on a variety of news and opinion sites across the internet and in print. Paul may be reached at [email protected]�
"Haven�t you heard? Being queer is not a bad thing anymore. We�re past all that now. We�ve progressed in an atmosphere of tolerance, diversity and unity. ...
Well, I suspect the church will grow now like never before. Won�t it be wonderful? Everybody can just cast aside their theological differences and hang-ups along with the cruel bondage of religious tradition and scripture and do whatever FEELS RIGHT in the cuddly name of Jesus."