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CHRISTMAS CAROLS TO SOOTHE THE SOUL OF LIBERALS!

 

 

 

By Dr. Laurie Roth Ph.D.
December 9, 2003
NewsWithViews.com

Isn't it wonderful, Christmas is upon us……of course so are the law suits, whiners and "jingle bells a phobia crowd!" Or should I say "Jesus a phobia" crowd? As we approach the holiday season it's a shame to have no acceptable alternative carols that might soothe the savage soul of the liberal, flag burner crowd. So…..in the interest of generosity and love I have rewritten several carols. Let the candles burn as we sing and hold hands. Follow the bouncing ball……

The Christmas Song (new and improved)

Pastors roasting on an open fire
Clinton ripping at your hose.
Yuletide carols are on trial in our schools
As we watch new shock TV shows.
Every soldier knows to retain counsel on the battlefield,
Terrorists must have their rights.
Drug crazed liberals with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Rodham's on her way.
She's bringing Queen size panties on her sleigh
And every liberal's child is gonna fly,
Cause they see cloned monkeys in the sky.

And so I'm offering this foggy haze,
To liberals from one to ninety two,
Although its been said, you can read my lips,
Christ and Christmas will out live you.

By Laurie Roth

Joy To The world

Joy to Fat Earl, the drugs have come.
Those married sell your rings.
Let legs part everywhere
It is not really sex,

And Doctors and Lawyers sing, and
Doctors and Lawyers sing Doctors, doctors and Lawyers sing.

Let's burn the flag, while vets groan
We want their lives destroyed.
Let's reinstate the draft, while their families starve we'll laugh.
And soldiers hitchhike home, and soldier hitchhike home,
And soldiers, soldiers hitchhike home.

Let all our sins and sorrows grow,
Let there be no Babies found.
Bill comes to make the interns glow,
Far as the curse is found, far as the curse is found,
Far as far as the curse is found.

By Laurie Roth

Jingle Bells

Bashing what we know,
Liberals fill their brains with Hay.
From bed to bed they go,
Laughing all the way.
Hell has lost its sting, cause liberals burn so bright.
What fun it is to bash George Bush, while terrorists attack tonight.

Empty shells, Empty shells, Empty and astray.
Oh what fun it is to help America lose her way.
Sleeper cells, Sleeper Cells, planning everyday.
Let's light our candles as the terrorists plan to make us pay.

By Laurie Roth

Frosty the Snowman

Frosty the snowman has just been sold.
Cause he lost in court when his lawyer froze,
Liberals ordered a dress and hose.
Frosty the snowman is going to surgery today,
To change his sex to Julie and Rex
So the ACLU will go away.

Binge and purge, Binge and purge,
Look at Frosty blow. Binge and purge,
Binge and purge
There are chunks in the snow.

One night the snowman planned a daring and scary escape.
He melted down and flowed into town to the sewage treatment place.
Now, stinky Frosty flowed over the fields and mountains,
He crossed gutters and lakes, and pipes and steaks to Hillary's drinking fountain.

By Laurie Roth

Since God by himself has the majority vote, I just don't have the guts to tell Him and the world that Jesus isn't the reason for the season. May Jesus Christ be praised! Merry Christmas to you all.

© 2003 Dr. Laurie Roth Ph.D. - All Rights Reserved

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Laurie Roth has a Ph.D. in Counseling and held a small private practice for many years. She earned a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. She is the proverbial "pastor's daughter" when it comes to her sense of adventure and her independent thinking. Laurie is a singer/songwriter with five CD albums to her credit, one track, which landed her in Billboard's top 40 ranks and on the cover of Cash Box Magazine. She plays the piano, keyboard, and violin and has a voice that can penetrate your very soul.

In the late 90's, Laurie hosted and produced a successful PBS television show called "CD Highway" that aired nationally on 130 TV stations. What made the show a success was Laurie's on-air persona as she interviewed stars such as Al Green, Blondie, Pat Bennitar, Chicago, 3 Dog Night, Lou Rawls, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Christopher Cross, Men at Work, Billy Rae Cyrus, Diamond Rio, Rita Coolidge, and dozens more.

Laurie is also an accomplished Author, Cartoonist, and Artist. She has hosted successful radio shows in Boston and L.A. before going national. Tune in to The Roth Show, Weeknights from 7:00 to 10:00 pm PAC and find out for yourself! You can listen live on cable radio network (live on the internet) channel 6 or visit The Roth Show web site and click on "where to listen"   www.therothshow.com Call the Roth Show at: 1-800-837-9680 E-Mail: Drljroth@aol.com


 

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"Since God by himself has the majority vote, I just don't have the guts to tell Him and the world that Jesus isn't the reason for the season. May Jesus Christ be praised! Merry Christmas to you all."