Jon Christian Ryter -- Al Gore and His Parallel Universe

AL GORE AND HIS PARALLEL UNIVERSE

By Jon Christian Ryter

May 24, 2006

NewsWithViews.com

He's b-a-c-c-k-k-k! Or is he? In his prime time Saturday Night Life appearance on May 13, former Vice President and 2000 Democratic presidential candidate Al Gore. Jr. shamelessly hustled the viewing TV audience, giving them clownish renditions of his 1988 and 2000 political tap dances to that old familiar "testing-the-waters-without-getting-slapped-down" musical diddy, "I'm Not Running For President...Oh, Yes I Am." In his Saturday Night Life skit, the comeback kid was president. Scary, isn't it? If you don't laugh, you'd cry.

In his make-believe SNL parallel universe, Gore single-handedly stopped global warming. Mentally, Gore still lives in a pre-2000 make-believe parallel world where everyone blissfully listens to The Grateful Dead and smokes magic mushrooms, and where gasoline prices dropped to 19 cents a gallon. In the real world you and I live in, global warming is a myth created by the oil barons to raise oil prices�and since Gore has been in bed with the oil barons since his first Senate run (which was financed in large part by Occidental Petroleum), the former Vice President knows full well that there is no correlation between rising gas prices and greenhouse gas emissions except that which was created by the media hucksters hired by the K Street lobbyists of The Nature's Conservancy, Greenpeace, The Sierra Club, and a myriad of less important ecoalarmist and environmentalist fear groups who have been sounding the "Chicken Little" greenhouse gases alarm from the moment Big Oil began filled their pockets with money to decry the evils of fossil fuels and demand the implementation of costly emissions standards to drive their independent competitors out of business.

In Gore's parallel universe, of course, everyone rides one horsepower nonpolluting bicycles. Only those who formerly qualified for handicap parking can apply for motorized bicycle permits. In the parallel world, the fuel for the motor bikes is 100% pure Tennessee Corn. In his parallel mind, this was President Gore's first, and finest, piece of legislation�pushed through Congress on the first day of parallel America's 110th Congress with the help of Vice President Hillary Clinton who cast the deciding vote as the president of the US Senate. Corn belt Congressmen were not happy to see 100% pure Tennessee Corn become the fuel of choice. In Gore's parallel world, Tennessee Corn�particularly Overton County or Cumberland upland corn�pops a bigger wallop, gets more miles to the gallon than ethanol�and, since it can also be substituted as a tonic when the senior citizen who uses it begins to feel those aches and pains that come from old age, its a fuel that does the body good.

What few cars left in America in Gore's parallel world would be driven by politicians, bureaucrats and union officials�and, of course, oil company executives and environmentalists�the folks who convinced the world that global warming was a reality when in fact it was merely a means to an end to the transnationalists who had to be able to justify the transfer of the wealth of America to the third world. And, of course, we can't forget the "I hate America" movie stars and starlets who helped fund the advocacy and gladly lent their image�and their movie themes�to sell the American people on a myth that global warming was real, were rewarded by being allowed to drive gas guzzling monster trucks or SUVs. In Gore's parallel world, the liberal elite are the only people who can afford the ten dollars per gallon price tag�and the gas permit needed to fill up at one of the last 100 public access filling stations, or 10,000 corporate filling stations, in the country.

Even when Gore steps back into the virtual world, he keeps one foot in his parallel universe where, in his utopian visions of Quixotic windmill chasers, he is the hero that invented the Internet, saved the world from communism and single-handedly stopped global warming moments before the world simultaneously heated to a boil and advanced into the next ice age.

Six years after almost successfully stealing the White House by manipulating votes already cast in three Florida counties he already won by a wide margin�votes he could not legally contest in Florida because Florida law only allows candidates to contest counties they lost�Gore is back, basking in the adoration of liberal fans who desperately want someone other than Hillary Clinton to vote for in 2008 because most heterosexual Democrat males can't stand the woman.

At the moment, Gore is doing the Hillary shuffle. Hillary, who claims she may or may not be a candidate, has already raised just shy of $20 million for her reelection to the Senate against two relatively unknown challengers who couldn't raise a good sweat on a hot summer day. In reality, Hillary is running two parallel campaigns�and parallel fund raising. Like Hillary, Gore is pretending he's not running. What he says he's doing is encouraging the American people to "lead their leaders" into being environmentally responsible. Gore's reappearance at this time with his ecoalarmist film, "An Inconvenient Truth," has fueled speculation that he intends to challenge Hillary for front-runner status before Clinton can safely declare her intention to challenge Article I, Section 2 of the Constitution which clearly defines the president as a man.

While Gore jokes about his 2008 plans, its clear to those who know the man that a book�or a movie�generally precedes his presidential leaps. In 1992 when he tried to grab the presidential nomination away from Bill Clinton, Gore released his ecoalarmist thriller, "Earth In the Balance." Much to the dismay of his campaign staffers, when he announced his candidacy in 2000, he released an updated version of his book�and his staffers kept their fingers crossed throughout the campaign. Today, Gore is watching the public's reaction to his movie. He will gauge any future political steps by the impact of "An Inconvenient Truth" has on his "constituency" when it opens on the big screen in select theaters on May 24�and whether or not he decides to challenge Hillary Clinton for the Oval Office. And that depends on whether or not his Hollywood friends will cough up the millions he needs to pay for tons of advertising on the small screen he will have to do to be a player in 2008.

Gore, who with former Undersecretary of State for Global Affairs Timothy Wirth, largely wrote the text of the Kyoto Protocol that became the transnationalists excuse for shipping America's factory jobs to China, Pakistan and Mexico to prevent global warming, is still playing to the extremist liberal choir and hoping they will invite him to do an encore. There aren't enough global warming believers out there to elect him. Gore needs to convert the masses�thus, "An Inconvenient Truth." The movie trailer of Gore's part-documentary, part dark comedy, and part science fiction warns: "If you live on this planet: If you love your children: You have to see this film." Gore declares that "...man-made global warming is really not a political issue so much as it's a moral issue." At the end of the movie, these words scroll across the screen: "Nothing is scarier than the truth." Nothing, that is, except the former vice president. As the words appear on the screen, the audience hears Gore's voice: "Our ability to live is what is at stake...In the end, the debate over global warming and its obverse, humanity's energy future, is a moral issue. Global warming may well harm humanity by disturbing the environment, but forcing the world's poorest people�2 billion of whom have never turned on a light bulb�to use more expensive and technically challenging fuels would also cause great harm."

In Gore's parallel universe, global warming is created by too many people. Gore's concepts are interesting largely because the advocates of global warming blame greenhouses gases on the industrialized nations and the people who live in them. What makes that quandary even more interesting is the fact that the industrialized nations have population replenishment levels of .5 to .7. What does that mean? For every 10 people who die, there are between 5 to 7 live births in the industrialized nations�not enough growth to maintain static population.

What is even more interesting is that the job transfer from the industrialized nations to the third world nations is based on the supposition of the ecoalarmists like Gore that the carbon dioxide emissions in the industrialized nations where vast populations of thoughtless people who are destroying the environment are somehow not greenhouse gas emissions when they are churned from chimneys in brand new factories in China, Pakistan, India, Africa or Mexico�the nations that house the world's greatest populations of human capital.

In Gore's parallel world, factories in underdeveloped nations employing underprivileged people don't generate greenhouse gases, and in that parallel universe where Dr. Seuss is king and Chicken Little is enshrined as a national hero, the people in the most heavily populated nations are not the cause of global warming. Only affluent people are the culprits. "An Inconvenient Truth" paints a frightening picture, using the cartoon, Futurama, where ice cubes are used to cool the oceans. The inconvenient truth is Gore's film drifts from fantasy to fact, and from fact to fiction as Gore's parallel universe intermingles with his virtual world. He presents scientific data and news footage to illustrate that the tragic weather patterns of 2005 were caused by pollution. Pollution, he claims, are responsible for the dramatic increase in greenhouse gases which, in turn, are responsible for rising ocean temperatures which cause storms like Hurricane Katrina.

There is a general scientific consensus that the planet is warming every so slightly. However, another inconvenient truth is that only 13% of the scientists�most of whom are funded by the oil industry, the environmentalists, or far left think tanks who believe global warming can be blamed on Republicans�believe that man-generated global warming is occurring. Eighty-seven percent of the scientific community knows that global temperature departures�both plus and minus�are cyclic events that are not caused by men nor can they be stopped by men since the origin of the heating and cooling comes from the sun. Another inconvenient truth is that, currently, the global temperature departure, measured by NASA, is -0.05 degrees�over 50 years.

And finally, the inconvenient truth is that global warming exists not because it is fact but because its the excuse conjured up by the barons of business, the titans of industry and the princes of banking to justify the transfer of wealth from the affluent industrial nations to the human capital-rich third world nations where tomorrow's consumers reside. The inconvenient truth is that global warming is a very transparent sham designed by evil men to force, through punitive environmental regulations, the wholesale transfer of not just jobs but entire industries from the industrial nations to the human capital-rich emerging economies where tomorrow's consumers need jobs today�our jobs.

In Geneva, Switzerland in 1996, Timothy Wirth�following the specific instructions of his boss, Vice President A; Gore�urged the establishment of legally binding standards for the industrialized nations to be signed at the UN Framework Convention on Climate Control in Kyoto, Japan the following December. While it is likely that that Congress, like mice blindly following the piped piper, would have endorsed the Kyoto Protocol if the draconian emissions standards were imposed equally on all the nations of the world, the third world nations plus Japan and China were exempt since the greenhouse gas emitting industrial plants had to go somewhere and, of course, they were supposed to go to the third world where product saturation would not be a problem for 100 or 200 years. In the United States and the other industrialized nations, product saturation was at the 99.999% level.

The affluent markets were simply replacement markets. They had everything�two or three cars, two or three TVs, two, three or more computers, radios galore, telephones and other gadgets galore. They bought only when something broke, wore out or became obsolete. The merchant prices needed a market where the consumers had nothing and needed everything. The third world presented that ideal human capital.

When the inconvenient truth of Gore's Kyoto Protocol�which Bill Clinton signed, obligating the United States to the terms of the UN Global Warming Treaty even though the US Senate refused to ratify it�became public, most Americans believed that the vast right wing conspiracy was misrepresenting the terms of the agreement. Not true. Under the terms of the UN Global Warming Treaty, roughly 134 of the 185 nations in the world were exempt from the environmental regulations, and had no greenhouse gas restrictions. That was important because global warming has never been about global warming. Global warming has always been an issue about how to transfer jobs from the United States to the third world without Congressmen and Senators being run out of office.

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The inconvenient truth is the environmentalist Congressmen and Senators certainly did not intend to lose their jobs as they honored the wishes of their constituency! Not you�the ones with the thick billfolds who fill their campaign coffers. Now, that's an inconvenient truth. Especially in an election year. The inconvenient question is�what are you going to do about it?