CHRISTIANOPHOBIA IS THE ELEPHANT IN THE CLOSET
By Marsha West
September 15, 2006
Satirizing the radical homosexual agenda.
My ‘orientation’ is to believe in God. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but from the time I can remember, I knew I was a God-person. I didn’t tell my family about my spiritual orientation because they’re Christophobic and wouldn’t have understood. After I became a born again Christian I knew I had to come out of my holy huddle and tell them everything. After that I left home and moved to the Bible Belt. In Jackson, Mississippi I’m free to live openly as an Evangelical.
For me, being a God-person is normal. Maybe I was born with a God gene, maybe not. It doesn’t really matter to me. What does matter is that I’m free to evangelize!
I believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. Many “progressive Christians” (progressive is a trendy word for liberal) disagree with me on this, and that’s their choice. If there’s one thing liberals pride themselves on, it’s being identified with “choice.” Especially when it comes to choosing new and innovative interpretations of Scripture. They also choose to shut people up who disagree with them. Just ask Ann Coulter.
Lately Leftists have been carping that Christians are “absolutists” which they consider on par with being a member of the Taliban. Their rants don’t bother me, though. I’m an absolutist, with a capital A, and proud of it.
And don’t think this Christian is going away. I intend to push my right-wing agenda down the throats of all Americans, including liberals. If people don’t like my godly agenda, oh well. I’m an American, after all. I’m a law-abiding, tax-paying citizen. I have my rights!
Stand back all you Christophobes! The evangelicals are at the door and we intend to do whatever’s necessary to bring our struggle against the tide of secular humanism and the cult of Darwinian evolution to light.
To achieve necessary social change Christians will insert themselves into the government, the judiciary, public education, the workplace and the media. We will assail the public with tragic stories of Christian persecution so that they will feel sorry for us. American’s are such softies.
Evangelicals are sick and tired of being demonized by the media and mocked by the Hollywood elite. We will come out of our sanctuaries and put pressure on the entertainment industry to stop funneling filth into households with children. In due course the sleaze will ease. Biblical morality will be part and parcel of story lines. The family hour will be fit for families. Sure, it’s a big undertaking but we’re up to the task!
I know what you’re thinking, “That’ll be the day.” But you just wait. Before you know it there will be Christian-friendly newspapers! What’s more, motion pictures, television programs, commercials, music, radio, etc., will be family-friendly. Liberal actors will have to play Christian characters that are portrayed as respected members of the community, or they’ll join the ranks of the unemployed. (Picture, if you will, Rosie O’Donnell playing a Christian homeschool Mom – or a NASCAR Dad!) In Hollywood Evangelicals will not only be accepted, they’ll be thought of as normal and good. Mark my words. There will come a time when Christians will win coveted awards for playing decent human beings! (Note: Winning awards is not important to Christians. What’s important is winning souls to Christ!)
Moreover, those who spew rhetoric like “Christianity is a crutch” and characterize all Christians as unintelligent, uneducated, dim bulbs will be looked upon as intolerant hate mongers.
Everywhere they turn, Christian bashers will be exposed to, gasp! Christian pundits. The columns of Cal Thomas, Michelle Malkin, Paul Wyrich, Mike Adams, Rebecca Hagelin, Hugh Hewitt and David Limbaugh will be published in the San Francisco Chronicle and the Washington Post. Ann Coulter will write Op-Eds for the New York Times.
Christian music will be piped into restaurants and shopping malls.
The word will be out that a Christian’s love and devotion to Christ is not pathological as liberals like to believe; loving Jesus will be accepted as normal and natural.
Hold on to your fedora, folks. Society will come to believe that there are certain people who are born moral.
Liberals can forget about their constitutional right to freedom of speech. Christian groups like the American Center for Law and Justice will work their tails off to get laws on the books that make it a hate crime to say anything derogatory about the Christian lifestyle, or to use the Lord’s name in vain. Mocking Jesus Christ in any way shape or form will require a public apology?or three?and md may require jail time. Madonna could get life.
A big part of the Evangelical agenda will include indoctrinating children as young as 5 years old into Judeo/Christian morality. This will be accomplished through people of faith infiltrating public schools and the institutions of “higher learning.” And trust me, we will not allow liberal parents to have a say in what their kids are learning, nor will we stand for their meddling. What do liberal parents know about raising children anyway?
Granted, liberal taxpayers help pay for public education. But that won’t stop people of faith from implementing our conservative agenda.
Christians have been taking a lot of heat for modeling healthy love between a man and a woman. This is perfectly understandable as religious tolerance is anathema to liberals. As American citizens, Christians have every right to express our views on morality. It’s our right to push our moral agenda down the throats of liberals, using any means at our disposal, whether they like it or not.
has no place in a society that prides itself on diversity. People with
different religious beliefs, or no belief at all, should “live and let
live.” C’mon liberals, lighten up! You’ve got to get over your fear of
Christians. Christianity isn’t contagious. If you get close to a Christian
you won’t “catch it.” You may get a touch of Truth, but that’s about it.
There’s no conceivable way for anyone to become a Christian unless he
or she accepts Christ. This is one area where Christians and liberals
see eye to eye. Accepting Christ is a choice.
© 2006 Marsha West - All Rights Reserved
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Marsha West is the Founder and Editor of the E-Mail Brigade News Report, an online news report for conservative people of faith. Marsha is a freelance writer specializing in Christian worldview. She is a regular contributor to NewsWithViews.com, Alainsnewsletter.com, CapitolHillCoffeeHouse.com, plus her commentaries appear in MichNews.com and bibleteacher.org.
is also designer and webmaster of a Christian apologetics website, On
Solid Rock Resources. She is currently writing a series of children's
books for homeschoolers. Marsha and her husband reside in historic Jacksonville
If there’s one thing liberals pride themselves on, it’s being identified with “choice.”