Why are we here? Uh, to serve God and to proclaim His glory? To love Him, and to love one another? Sorry! Afraid I lapsed into Hate Speech there…
Consulting The Smartest People In The World, we frankly don’t know why we’re here—since it all came about by chance anyway—unless it’s to Save The Planet. Yeah, that must be it. To Save The Planet.
But how do we do that?
A British think tank called “Autonomy”—pardon me for laughing!—thinks the solution is… a nine-hour work week. They’re pretty sure they’re right about this because they’re getting their data from the United Nations and the United Nations never lies.
See there’s this “huge carbon footprint of business,” and that’s what’s got to be stamped out: “Stamp out footprints!” Catchy slogan, eh? In an ideal world, there would be no more business. No more creation of wealth. No more working to produce goods and services that other people want and are willing to pay for. Well, only nine hours of it. That’s all The Planet can stand.
But can all the work that needs to be done get done if everybody’s working only nine hours a week? Hah! Gotcha, you Biggit! It so happens we’ve got robots to do all that work, dude—and do it better than a bunch of lazy humans, too. And they never go on strike, never need a day off (unless they totally break down), never demand a raise, never expect an office Christmas party. Hey! You guys are lucky if we let you work nine hours a week! We only do it because speeches by left-wing politicians always sound so much better if the word “workers” is used at least once every two minutes.
But what’s everybody supposed to do for the other 31 hours that used to be part of the work week? Compose symphonies? Write cowboy poetry? Try to count the ants in an anthill?
Ah, we’re glad you asked! And we can answer in a single word:
Sex-bots. “Sex robots” would be two words, and you know how we hate to waste words around here.
The new generation of sex-bots is on its way; and they’re gonna have Wi-Fi, so you won’t even have to plug ‘em in. But best of all, scientists—sorry, I mean Scientists with a capital “S”—say these new sex-bots will be “indistinguishable from human beings.”
Wow. Think of it. Their appearance and movement will be so lifelike, you won’t be able to tell them from the real thing. Think of the possibilities for sitcoms! Like, here’s this poor guy married to a robot and no one ever told him it wasn’t a real human woman. And ha-ha-ha, everybody knows but him! It could even be a movie.
Even more awesome than its comedic possibilities, this, exults another Scientist, this is “the beginning of a synthetic sexual revolution”! Put that in your pipe and smoke it. What could the world need more than another sexual revolution? There are still some normal people who need to be finished off.
As some Luddite pointed out (and he needs to be busted for Hate Speech), what do all these things—sex with sex-bots, gay marriage, transgenderism, and late-term abortion—have in common? Besides being cherished projects of the Democrat Party, I mean.
Easy! They all work together to depopulate the earth!
Because these are all humanist inventions, and there’s nothing a humanist hates more than his, her, or xer fellow human beings. The sooner the humanists can get rid of everybody else, the happier they’ll be.
I have discussed these and other topics throughout the week on my blog, http://leeduigon.com/ . Stop in and visit; a single click will take you there. You can also find my articles at http://www.chalcedon.edu/ .
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