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The Leipzig

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By Dennis L. Cuddy, Ph.D.
April 1, 2013

Another way women outsmart men is that they have the ability to maneuver men into reaching a conclusion the women wanted them to reach, while the men think they came up with the idea all by themselves. This is a variation on a line from the old Betty Grable movie "Mother Wore Tights" where a daughter narrating the film says, "As usual, mother allowed dad to convince her that she had been right all along."

Although you don't hear the expression much these days, this used to be called a woman using her "feminine wiles." Here's how it works. Let's say it's Saturday morning and a woman wants to go to an art exhibit that afternoon, but her husband wants to see an action-packed sporting event (e.g., football game, auto racing, etc.). She will probably say something like this at the breakfast table. "Isn't it nice this morning?" He'll agree, not realizing that he's being set up. Then she'll say, "You work so hard all week. Isn't it nice to do something peaceful and quiet today?" Again, he'll agree, especially since she prefaced the "peaceful and quiet" part of her remark by complimenting him that he had "worked hard" all week. Then, before he figures out what she's doing, she says they should go to a wonderful art exhibit that afternoon that she's "really been wanting to see." Barely beginning to realize the dire situation he is in, he blurts out that there's a sporting event that afternoon that he's "really been wanting to see." At this point, he thinks it's just a test of wills, but she then reminds him that he agreed they should "do something peaceful and quiet today," and she will emphasize that the sporting event certainly isn't "peaceful and quiet." Reluctantly, he will have to agree, and she will once again have successfully employed her superior intelligence to maneuver him into a position of agreeing to do what she wants.

Another example of a woman using a man's words or actions against him was given by comedian Taylor Mason, who said: "They say love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener. I cannot win an argument. When the Good Lord put man and woman together, He did not mean for a man to win an argument, and I'll tell you why. Man comes to the argument as it happens, in the moment, but not a woman. She prepares for an argument. She's got videotape, audiotape, eyewitnesses, and things I forgot I did back in 1998." The foresight to keep these tapes and a list of eyewitnesses, as well as preparing for an argument before actually engaging in it, shows women's superior intelligence.

Lastly, there is one other mental ability that most women but few men have, and that is a sense or awareness that something is about to happen---some people call it "women's intuition." For example, a child in the kitchen just about to reach for some freshly baked cookies on the table suddenly hears a voice from another room of the house. It's his mother, saying "Don't eat those cookies!" And the boy wonders to himself, "How did she know I was just about to do that?"

There is one thing, however, in which women are weak. They are subject to flattery! Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that (flattery) is what I have been doing throughout this article, but I actually meant every word I wrote. It is important, though, for women to be wary of flattery by men, especially when it comes before a man's claim that he "loves" a woman. Too often, when men say they "love" women, they actually mean they "desire" them, usually because of some noted flattering physical attribute.

Regretfully, women too easily believe a man's proclamation of "love," because everyone (even a little baby) likes affection/attention or to be wanted. Women need to recognize that "desire" is self-oriented---a man thinking how a woman makes him feel. "Love" is other-oriented, which means a man is primarily concerned with how he can help a woman or make her happy. "Love" is often sacrificial, like parents making sacrifices for their children because they "love" their offspring. Unfortunately, men today don't do all that much sacrificing for women (e.g., not looking at weekend football and going to an art exhibit with her instead).

The reason so many relationships and marriages fail today is they are based on "desire" rather than "love." "Desire" usually fades over time, especially if it is based on physical attributes, whereas "love" can grow over time because our need for help and someone to make us happy increases as we move into our senior years. Regrettably, many men when taking the marriage vow to be faithful "til death do us part" mean as long as they "love" the women, and because they have confused "desire" with "love," then as "desire" begins to fade, the man thinks he no longer "loves" the women and considers his vow no longer binding. Therefore, women must be sure that when men say they "love" them, they really mean "love" and not "desire."

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One additional cautionary note for women along these lines is that too often men use a pronouncement of deep and lasting "love" for women to whom they are not married as a prelude to an appeal for sexual intercourse. Those women need to respond to this by reminding men THE HOLY BIBLE says in Galatians 5:l9-21 that having sex outside of marriage (fornication) is at the top of the list of activities that could send a person to hell forever. These women should then tell the men that if they really "loved" them, they would NOT want to fornicate with them.

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Dennis Laurence Cuddy, historian and political analyst, received a Ph.D. from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (major in American History, minor in political science). Dr. Cuddy has taught at the university level, has been a political and economic risk analyst for an international consulting firm, and has been a Senior Associate with the U.S. Department of Education.

Cuddy has also testified before members of Congress on behalf of the U.S. Department of Justice. Dr. Cuddy has authored or edited twenty books and booklets, and has written hundreds of articles appearing in newspapers around the nation, including The Washington Post, Los Angeles Times and USA Today. He has been a guest on numerous radio talk shows in various parts of the country, such as ABC Radio in New York City, and he has also been a guest on the national television programs USA Today and CBS's Nightwatch.

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One additional cautionary note for women along these lines is that too often men use a pronouncement of deep and lasting "love" for women to whom they are not married as a prelude to an appeal for sexual intercourse.