SHUT DOWN AND SHUT UP
By Lydia Goodman
January 20, 2015
NewsWithViews.com
I have had a severe case of writer’s block for the last few weeks. There were many extenuating circumstances that literally caused me to “shut down and shut up”-- unable to write a single word. Here’s a fact: For me to write on the ever-increasing lunacies occurring throughout our country and world, I must be either outraged, angry, or depressed. Overwhelmed by life’s burdens and an acute awareness of worldly events swirling so far out of any man’s control, I literally found myself shutting down. I tried to write...I swear. There were plenty of topics to choose from, as you are well aware of, but then I would have these thoughts, “What difference does it really make if I never write another word? Is anything or anyone really going to be changed or challenged? What am I writing about that countless others aren’t reporting on or writing about?”
Engulfed by feelings of futility, I did what I always do when I can’t handle the daily onslaught of attacks against everything I believe in or stand for. I turn inward. I get too much into my own head, dwelling in the past and not trusting God with the future, which leads me into depression and anxiousness. How’s that for honesty? However, there are times, I confess, when things are going good and everything seems to be rocking along, that I forget how much I need the Lord of my life to be in control. Believe it or not, I have begun thinking of myself as...
A horse. Yes, a horse. (No comments about my looks!) Let me explain. When I was saved, I gave control of my life to Jesus. I allowed Him to put His yoke on me--if you will, His bridle and bit. As I walk through life, I have a tendency, just like a horse, to wander off the chosen path when things are going my way and I am distracted by worldly pleasures. I try to go a different direction and my rider, my Savior, will have to gently nudge me back into a right relationship with Him. Then, there are those times that I willfully fight for my own way-shaking my head furiously, kicking and bucking His will because I have made up my mind--I’m going over to that patch of tempting clover on the other side of the road. I want it now! He has to pull sharply on the bit, sometimes even bloodying my mouth to get my attention. And get it, He does! Ouch! However, the beautiful thing about being under His ownership is that when I hit the slippery patch, as we all do, and start to stumble and fall on the sharp rocks of life, He is there with me to rescue, comfort, and to protect me from the dangers and onslaughts of this world.
There are three types of female horses (I think...I never claimed to be a horse expert!). There’s the young, beautiful Filly all the young studs are attracted to. The world is at her feet with seemingly boundless choices at her disposal. She uses her winsomeness to attract attention, either for the glory of her owner or for herself.
What she doesn’t realize are the consequences those choices will bear on the rest of her life. She needs an owner to direct her steps and to teach her how to conform to the Master’s will. There’s the Mare, characterized by some owners as being more intelligent and courageous than her male counterparts and is said to be willing to work harder out of a strong sense of loyalty to her Master. The downside of being characterized as a mare? She also has a reputation as being nervous and high-strung. Yep.
That leaves us with the “Old Nag”. Dear God. My worst nightmare is to turn into this horse. An “ Old Nag” is defined as old and in poor condition, and has become bitter, cynical, judgmental, and set in her ways. “Nag, Nag, Nag”--could she be more aptly named?
So, that leaves me with a choice. I will never be a young “filly” again. (Sigh.) I detest the thought of being an “ old nag”, especially; an “old gray nag”. I want to be that Mare-known for her wisdom, loyalty, and courage that only her Master can instill within her being. Yes, I am high-strung and have periods of anxiety, but I pray that I will always submit to His gentle guidance so that my path will be straight and that I will follow where He leads, without shaking my head and stomping my feet.
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What does this have to do with whether I write or not? Simple, really. I have made a promise to myself and to God that every word I write will be prayed over, that I will seek His approval over man’s approval, and that if He so chooses that I write; it will be for His glory only.
I have learned that when we are caught up in the cares of this world and we allow anger and bitterness to flourish in our hearts, the joy we have in our salvation will cease to exist. I want that joy and peace in my life that only He can give.
Let it be said, “She pursued Jesus”...
Whether I write another word or not.
© 2015 Lydia Goodman - All Rights Reserve
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As a writer and commentator, Lydia Goodman is passionate about speaking out against progressive policies that threaten to erode our personal rights, freedoms, and traditions. Lydia has also written numerous articles on world human rights issues, in an effort to focus attention on the atrocities perpetuated against people of faith.
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@lydiawgoodman
E-Mail: lydia1goodman@gmail.com
