Additional Titles







The Fraud of Multiculturalism

Christianity verses Psychology

Can America Become a Godly Nation Again?

The United Nation's Plan for World "Peace"

Should We Have Government Schools?

Separation of Marriage and State

O, Christians,

An Open Letter
To Pastors







By Debbie O'Hara
May 19, 2004

Millions of Americans are highly concerned about the state of marriage in this country, as well they should be. The traditional male-female family unit is the cornerstone of society. If it is not held up as the standard, we will find ourselves in a moral free-fall as bad or worse than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. How is it that we have come to such a low point in our history where millions, including many in the Christian church, are willing to accept homosexual "marriage"? And is our problem really the homosexual agenda as many claim it is or is our problem much deeper than that? Many are demanding a Federal Marriage Amendment to keep marriage between one man and one woman, but is government really the answer to this monumental crisis?

While the homosexual agenda is a real danger, it is not the biggest threat to our society as many people claim. Homosexuality has been around since the fall of man. So how is it that it has become such a threat in modern times? The answer lies in the fact that we are biblically illiterate about marriage. As parents we have not set good examples for our children because we ourselves have never searched the Scriptures to see what God says about marriage. Neither do we hear God's plan for marriage preached from many pulpits. At least two generations of children have grown up without anyone to teach them what marriage means. Without solid biblical instruction from either parents or the church, American children have accepted much of the negative instruction they have received from the world. We have allowed the government schools, prime time TV and peers to teach Christian children about marriage. Should we be surprised we are reaping the whirlwind?

It's true that God's Word tells us that the ideal model for marriage is to be between one man and one woman, but it doesn't stop there. It seems most Christians either don't know or wish to avoid the standard that God has set for us in marriage. Unless WE heed His instruction, how dare we preach to others how to live?

Besides the ideal of one-man, one-woman marriage, what else does God teach us about marriage? Malachi 2:15 says that God Himself has made a husband and wife one flesh and that man is not to break faith with the wife of his youth. In the very next verse (16) the Lord says, "I hate divorce". For the first 1500 years of the Christian church the belief that marriage was a lifetime covenant was the biblical standard. If your life was endangered or you had an adulterous spouse, it could be cause for divorce but remarriage with another person was never an option as long as your original spouse was alive. The marriage covenant was taken very seriously indeed.

Since that time the more common view has been that you can divorce and remarry but only if you divorce under biblical grounds like that of adultery. I am not going to get into the pros and cons of each view here as I personally have not completed my study of the topic to decide which appears the most biblical. (I encourage every one of you to do your own biblical study of marriage.) But either way, we can see that we have come a long way from a biblical standard. Some people get married many times over, having divorced their previous spouses for "irreconcilable differences". There is nothing biblical about that. We get tired of our spouses because they haven't "met our needs" and so cast them off like an old pair of shoes.

When we have fallen so short of the biblical standard that God has set for us, how is it that we blame non-Christians for the marriage mess? The word "hypocrite" gets thrown in the face of Christians very often and in many cases it is not totally undeserved. I remember watching a UC Berkeley debate recently on homosexual marriage. The pro-traditional family side stated that traditional marriage was best for the nurturing of children. The pro-homosexual marriage side cited the high divorce rate and how heterosexual marriage certainly hasn't made children a priority. It is impossible to argue his point because he was absolutely right. The nurturing of children has not been a priority in many marriages. The family unit has been falling apart now for decades. Broken homes have caused so much sadness that many of today's generation are opting out of getting married altogether.

The high rate of divorce in the Bible-believing churches of our nation is pandemic. According to Joseph Webb in "Till Death Do Us Part", one of the fastest areas percentage-wise of divorce is among ministers and their wives. Was there some fatal flaw in God's design of the marriage institution? Certainly not. It is not God's fault that we have ignored his instruction. Not having followed the Lord's prescription for marriage, should we then be surprised at the moral chaos we have created? Should we be surprised that more people are looking for us to accept "alternative" lifestyles?

Is the answer to this marriage crisis to get the government involved via a Federal Marriage Amendment? Do you remember what happened when we abandoned our responsibility to help the poor and looked to government instead? We ended up giving ourselves a bloated welfare system that subsidizes the poor with no strings attached. The result is that poverty has GROWN by leaps and bounds because welfare dependency contributes to the rise in single-parent homes. Welfare dependency is not good for citizens but it is good for government because it grants government greater power over its citizens.

We looked to government to handle the drug problem and look what the "war on drugs" has cost us. According to the Office of National Drug Control Policy the "war on drugs" cost the taxpayer nearly $40 billion in federal, state and local government spending in 2003. Does it look like we're winning the war? The only one winning is government because the "war on drugs" has greatly expanded government power over us.

Look at the war against illiteracy. Since turning our children's education over to the government, the costs continue to rise by billions of dollars every year and yet our children keep getting dumber. Not only that, but they are being taught an immoral value system. The government loves it when we abdicate our individual responsibilities because it gives them more control over our lives.

We have no reason to believe that granting government control over marriage will be any exception. As usual government will be the only one to benefit because their power over our lives will be greatly expanded. If we turn marriage over to government, don't be surprised when government decides who can or who can't marry even between heterosexuals. (They did it before when they were trying to keep the white race in America "pure".) Don't be surprised when government decides who will be licensed to have children and who won't. Don't be surprised when government tells you how many children you will be allowed to have and when you must abort. Think that sounds pretty far fetched?

Both major contenders for the presidency, President George W. Bush, and Senator John F. Kerry say they are for "civil unions" but not gay "marriage". Who are they trying to con? They are virtually the same thing. In fact it was pro-homosexual legislation by President Bush that helped to spur on this marriage crisis. It is not unusual for government to cause a crisis so that they can hear that cry they love so much from the people to "save us" which always ends up granting government more dictatorial power. If we add a marriage amendment to the Constitution, government will control all marriage law. If that happens, government will receive ever-greater power to control the lives of us and our families. If we're stupid enough to believe that government is the answer, we will get what we deserve.

The drug, marriage, and education problems mentioned above are not legal problems, but spiritual ones. If traditional marriage is to be saved, it won't be by government decree. It can only happen through the redeeming work of Jesus Christ and His church.

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14

As the above passage states, the problem is with God's people, not with the homosexuals. Christians are accepting the evil ways of the world. We keep hearing how we need to just love everyone unconditionally and not judge them. But how loving is it not to tell people the truth about how they will perish unless they repent of their sins? What ever happened to doctrine? What ever happened to church discipline? If there is any hope of stemming the tide of moral degeneracy, the church needs to go back to teaching and upholding a biblical standard of marriage. Blaming the homosexuals just won't cut it anymore!

� 2004 Debbie O'Hara - All Rights Reserved


Debbie O'Hara is a homemaker, wife and mother of eight children. During her business career she held a position in management in the aerospace industry in Southern California. She left the business world to become a full time mother. She is an avid reader, and did the necessary research to provide a comprehensive homeschool curriculum for her children. This led her to closely examine the political direction our country has been following. Debbie and her children are now active in the political process both locally and nationally. Debbie is a contributing writer to  E-Mail:








"As the above passage states, the problem is with God's people, not with the homosexuals. Christians are accepting the evil ways of the world. We keep hearing how we need to just love everyone unconditionally and not judge them. But how loving is it not to tell people the truth..."