Additional Titles










Sheriffs Need to Take The Lead













By Jim R. Schwiesow

December 5, 2006

They�re coming to take us away, Ha Ha;
They�re coming to take us away Hee Hee.

Recently, after witnessing my wife�s experience with security at a local airport, I came to contemplate the plight of ordinary American citizens at the hands of extraordinarily stupid people, carrying out the extraordinarily stupid policies, of an extraordinarily stupid bureaucracy. Either these people are devoid of a lick of common sense, or they are candidates for the funny farm. It�s as if Dr. Demento is running the affairs of the whole country.

My wife is an elderly, reasonably spry, bespectacled lady of Caucasian decent. She is about 5� 4� in height with a grandmotherly demeanor and not possessed of a demonstrable measure of strength. I have to remove the lids from the pickle jars for her, and tote the bags of waste to the curb. Her picture appears on no wanted posters that I know of, and people who have been perusing the mug shots at the local post office do not seem to scrutinize her suspiciously with an avaricious gleam while pondering the receipt of a handsome reward for turning her in to the authorities.

But, apparently this seemingly mild and unassuming appearance was taken for a disguise by the constabulary at the local airport. I was warned sternly by a steely-eyed gendarme with a ponderous belly and a low-slung gun, low-slung in order to gird up the blubber, that I would not be allowed to follow her into the secure area. So, since I was not going to be departing with her, I was forced to peer through the holes of a chicken wire barrier into the secure area where my wife was subjected to a search for contraband that would have been the envy of the chief of guards at any of our major penitentiaries for high-risk offenders.

As I watched she was frisked with an electronic wand, stripped of her jacket, deprived of her shoes, had her bra checked and her travel bag emptied into a box and rummaged through so as to undo her carefully packed assortment of cosmetics, breath mints, vitamins and other indispensable, to a woman, sundries. There she sat barefoot and bewildered. So it was, that upon her return from her trip, I advised her that she would do well, the next time that she traveled, to apply a middle-eastern tinted skin cosmetic, grow a mustache, and carry a copy of the Koran well displayed for all to see. I assured her that she would, in deference to political correctness, be waved through with a cursory glance and a respectful salutation. Hey, if your going to be a terrorist you might as well be up front about it, there is nothing that confuses these genius guardians of the flying public more than a genuine terrorist.

This is just one example of the flight from common sense that has seized the denizens of the hallowed institutions of our federal government, and which filters inevitably on down to the various branches of our state and local governments. It�s almost as if these people are vying for a Pulitzer Prize for ignorance.

Which agencies are we talking about here? Well try the USDA, the FDA, the IRS, the BATF, or the various boards, councils, and schools, which govern our local affairs. Take your pick. They all contribute to the lunacy that has gripped the nation.

Let�s shine the light on the IRS, the accumulators of a large portion of the monies earned by millions of hard-working U.S. citizens. If my mail is any indication these people heap untold grief upon a multitude of ordinary law-abiding citizens who have done nothing more than to lose their way in the maze and muddle of convoluted administrative tax codes that these upholders of the money grabbing laws passed by the politicians have written. All of course very necessary if the politicians are to ensure a continual and seamless bleeding of U.S. citizens to fund a myriad of valueless pork barrel projects. In their zealous quest to squeeze the last ounce of juice out of hapless Americans these people have assembled an armory of torture devices that rival those assembled by medieval kings. Tax liens, writs of attachments, seizures, tax sales and fines and assessments round out their arsenal. Just a threatening communiqu� from these tyrants would make sweat run off of a rock.

If it has escaped your attention these guardians of the purse have a politically correct side also. Just today I received a letter from a citizen who is employed by a large construction company. He said the following:

�I work for a large construction company, which hires illegal aliens knowingly. All that is required by the company for an illegal to secure employment is a forged social security card. We have 19 and 20 year old Mexicans claiming ten or more dependents on their W-4�s. I found the pay stub of one of these, and observed that in a week�s time he had earned a little over $800.00 dollars and had less than $10.00 withheld in federal payroll taxes. These people are stealing from us daily. Where is the IRS? (Good question) If, I were to claim ten dependents and fail to file a tax return at the end of the year, where would I be? Since I am not a Mexican, the IRS would find a nice jail cell for me for a few years. Give me some direction. These people are stealing the heritage of my children and my children�s children, and nothing is being done about it�

Welcome to the asylum, my friend. Not only are these illegal aliens stealing, but the company that you work for is doing likewise. But, at least this employer puts these leaches on the payroll; there are many who pay them under the table. Think of the billions that these law-breaking border jumpers and the law-breaking businesses that have hired them have cabbaged with these thieving practices, which the IRS ignores. Well let�s move along, there are more than enough of these �nitwit� awards to go around.

We have so many inmates, and so little space. How about we take a look at the looniest of loonies, The FDA, a subsidiary of the pharmaceutical industry. You know the people, who carry out the wishes of Senator Durbin and kind, the same bureaucratic nuts that endorse the pharmaceuticals, which kill 200,000 U.S. citizens each year and steal the health of thousands more. Yep, by George, you have it! The same people who send out swat teams to break into the offices of licensed medical doctors who practice alternative medicine. The same people who allow the pharmaceutical companies to run those killer ads on TV in which the fairy people hop and skip through fields of daisies in a display of radiant health brought about by one or another of the toxic substances, which the pharmaceutical companies hawk.

Not doing their jobs you say, I beg to differ with you. What about all of those suppliers of vitamins and supplements whom they have persecuted for having the audacity to suggest that these natural products might have curative properties. You can�t deny they have been diligent in interfering with the inalienable rights of individuals to select their own options in regard to the treatment of the diseases, which may afflict them. So you see these protectors of the public health have expended every effort to promote the harmful and limit the beneficial. You ought to be ashamed. The ingratitude is appalling. Well, there will always be those who will fail to acknowledge their taxes at work through their public servants.

We would be remiss if we did not bestow any stupidity awards upon our local politicians and bureaucrats. To ignore their part would be to exhibit a callous disregard for their contributions.

Just think about how our public safety interests have been served by the arrest and detention of those little boys who carry small pocketknives with which they carve twigs and play mumbly-peg. And our little daughters are so much safer when little six-year old ruffians are seized and prosecuted for bestowing a peck on the cheek of little girls whom they admire. It is absolutely frightening to even think about the damage these malefactors inflict. Thank goodness we are insulated from the proselytizing by children, of all ages, who would bow their heads in prayer in public places.

And who knows how many cases of smoker�s hack are avoided by the banning of smoking in the great and free outdoors. I can think of no punishment great enough for those who puff smoke into the air, and I can think of no better use of our law enforcement agencies than to use them to track down, with remorseless intensity, those who would sneak a smoke in a public park or on a public street.

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Now, I ask you where, oh where, would we be without these freedom stealing bureaucratic intruders who, uninvited, initiate rules and regulations in regard to every aspect of our personal lives?

They're coming to take us away, Ho Ho Hee Hee Ha Ha
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And we'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take us away, Ha-haaa!

� 2006 - Jim R. Schwiesow - All Rights Reserved

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Jim Schwiesow is a retired sheriff with 46 years of law enforcement service. He served with the Unites States Army with the occupation forces in post war Berlin, Germany, and has a total of nine years of military service, which includes six years in the U.S. Army Reserve.

His law enforcement service includes: three years in the military police, fifteen years as an Iowa municipal police officer, and twenty-eight years as the duly elected sheriff of Sioux County, Iowa.

Jim has written a number of articles, which have been published in various professional law enforcement journals.












As I watched she was frisked with an electronic wand, stripped of her jacket, deprived of her shoes, had her bra checked and her travel bag emptied into a box and rummaged through so as to undo her carefully packed assortment of cosmetics, breath mints, vitamins and other indispensable, to a woman, sundries.