Science (with Government!) Marches On

by Lee Duigon

October 5, 2023

You have to respect Science for its uncanny ability to discover what it wants to discover. Oh, sure, there are incentives—zillion-dollar grants, enrollment in the ruling elite—maybe even a TV series on PBS. Find out who’s important, who’s writing the checks—and discover what they want you to discover. As easy as falling out of a canoe.

For long, lean years Science tried to discover “the gay gene.” Gee, how would that help any organism to reproduce? Shut up! Today’s politics is tomorrow’s science.

Well, they haven’t yet come through with the highly sought-after Gay Gene, but a few years ago they came up with the next best thing—the ancient grave of a man buried as a woman (so there!). Obviously it could only mean one thing: that once upon a long time ago, the whole human race was fantastically tolerant of every imaginable form of sexual expression. If that’s not what this find says to you, you’re off the team.

So that’s settled, and we can move on to some of today’s burning scientific issues.

What makes people get fat?

You were going to say “Too much food and not enough exercise,” weren’t you? Do you honestly think 21^st-century Science would ever be satisfied with an answer like that? Sheesh! Get with it!

According to a study made by I don’t know who, a major contributing factor to the risk of obesity is… wait for it…

“Experiencing discrimination”!

A hundred people filling out questionnaires and looking at slides of tasty snacks can’t be wrong.

And don’t even bother to say what you were gonna say next: “Gee whiz, when people are feeling stressed-out and demoralized, don’t they just naturally reach for comfort foods or sweets? Hasn’t that always been true?”

Shut up, he explained.

At the same time as our wealthy progressive political sponsors anoint “plus-sized activists” as their high priests among the hefty, all the while trying to ban large sodas, they look for a way for you—please excuse the expression—to have your cake and eat it, too. A solution wasn’t long in dawning on them.

Simple! Just initiate some action by government, some “policy,” that will reduce (oops!) or wipe out discrimination against the morbidly obese.

You knew it all along, didn’t you? What is the answer to every woe that flesh is heir to? Put ‘em together, Science and Government, and what have you got? You’ve got Policy! Mandates! Rules and regulations, new ones every day. And this is such an easy one—abolish, through cunningly crafted Policy, all forms of Discrimination against excessive corpulence. Just redesign and rebuild all things to accommodate the plus-sized, censor and punish any contrary opinions, and we’re home free.

Sure, it’ll cost trillions and trillions of dollars to replace hallways, doorways, seats, beds, car interiors [temporary: the long-range plan is to do away with private car ownership altogether] and everything else—but since when has Congress shown even the least aversion to spending public money?

There’s even a slogan ready to hand: “Our jumbo jets are really Jumbo jets!”

It’s big, I tell you. Bigger even than the Green New Deal! Social justice on steroids.

Not a single Democrat will vote against it.

I have discussed these and other topics throughout the week on my blog, http://www.leeduigon.com/ . Click the link and visit, with or without popcorn. My articles can also be found at www.chalcedon.edu/ .

E-Mail Lee Duigon: leeduigon@verizon.net