The Next Big Lockdown

by Lee Duigon

Really severe lockdowns are still a thing in Europe, although the beautiful people in Paris just ignore them and whoop it up at “secret restaurants”.

Here at home, our lockdowns appear to be easing up. But don’t be fooled: it’s the calm before the storm.

The Portland school board has provided us with a harbinger of things to come. They were about to adopt a fir tree as the mascot for their schools, but suddenly had second thoughts. Wait a minute! Those trees… they might be—oh, no!—racist trees. After all, “trees” were often used in lynchings. That would make them racist. And, by extension—extension really works great, here—all trees. And a picture of a pine tree on a sign outside a school—well, c’mon—that would make the school racist! And, by extension, all of Portland with it.

The trees, of course, couldn’t perform lynchings on their own. Who aided and abetted the trees? People! Human beings!

So people are racists. The schools already teach Critical Race Theory, that states that all white people are racists, all guilty, all evil, etc., etc. Presuming that no amount of “teaching” can possibly erase that guilt, it becomes obvious that from now on, white people must be… kept away from trees!

There are only two ways of doing that: either chop down all the trees, or lock down all white people so that they can’t do anything bad anymore.

But we all want to stay safe, don’t we? And the safest option here is to lock down… everybody! It’s the only way we can be sure of reining in all racism.

You may think we could get by just by locking down white people, no one else. There is much to be said for that point of view, but none of it is printable. And they’d have to be in lockdown mode forever, because they’re all born racists, born guilty, and they can’t change. Even the ones with Black Lives Matter lawn signs—what little trigger would it take to turn them into foaming-at-the-mouth racists? Better safe than sorry.

Ah! But what about “Contact Racism”? This is racism that’s spread by contact with persons—and things—already infected with racism. At this point in time there is no known vaccine for racism, no gene therapy. Exposure to racism can turn anyone into a racist. There is no immunity. Already any number of Minority Persons have been turned into white supremacists: more than a few of them even went so far as to vote for Donald Trump [five-minute break for horrified gasps]. It is suggested that quadruple face-masking might protect Minority Persons from being turned into white supremacists; but Dr. Fauci has been going back and forth on that, and we must wait for him to make up his mind.

What if you buy a used car once owned by a racist? Well, that would be a racist car—and, by extension, anyone who drives it would be a racist, too. Probably a number of racists took part in manufacturing the car. Probably? Almost certainly! So stay away from manufactured products of all kinds… because you don’t know who was working in the factory that they came out of.

Systemic racism is surely a worse problem than even King COVID, justifying draconian methods of fighting it. No one is safe. There is no immunity. You can catch it from the trees! Even palm trees, by extension. Trees, water fountains, doorknobs—all have been used by racists at one time or another.

But if we lock down everybody, and never let them out—well, then we’ve got a chance.

And that’s what we mean by saying, “Stay safe.”

I have discussed these and other topics throughout the week on my blog, http://leeduigon.com/ . Click the link and stop in for a visit, while it’s still allowed. My articles can also be found at www.chalcedon.edu/ .

E-Mail Lee Duigon: leeduigon@verizon.net