HOW THE OTHER GRINCH* TRIED TO SCREW YOU�AGAIN

by Dr. W.R. Marshall, Ph.D
December 22, 2007
NewsWithViews.com

*(Attn. Seuss Attorneys: this is not your Grinch, it's some other guy)

Every Blue
Down in Blue-ville
Liked Freedom a lot�

But the Grinch,
Who lived up the hill from Blue-ville,
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Freedom! The whole Freedom thing!
If he�d written the song, he�d let �Halliburton ring.�
Who knows why; greed sounds about right.
It could be, perhaps, he was wound a bit tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his head was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His greed or his head,
It was bigger than Blue, it went clear on to Red.
He stared down from his house with a sour, Grinchy frown
With contempt and disdain for everyone in that town.

�They�re passing their bills and their tariffs and laws,
�But the threat of my veto will always give pause!�
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
�What if they stop this war that I�m running?�

For,
Tomorrow, he knew�

All the Blues and the Reds
Would wake up at noon, scratching their heads.
They�d look at the papers, they read every poll,
And what the Grinch pushed, would no longer roll.

Then the Blues and the Reds, the young and the old,
Would sit down to caucus, and the tale would be told.
They�d squeak and they�d squawk, They�d YAK!
YAK!
YAK!

It could be the end of the Grinch�s Iraq.
The Grinch loved his war and all of its spoils,
Its earmarks and black-ops and all that crude oil.
And it could get worse, oversight of the beast,
Which was something the Grinch couldn�t stand in the least.

�They aren�t the problem,� barked his old dog and master.
�It�s the people, the voters, who make this disaster.�
The Grinch screwed up his face, his eyes blinked and blinked,
A sign that a thought was about to be thinked.

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

�I know just what to do!� The Grinch laughed in his throat.

Then he froze like a knight stuck in front of a moat.
The Grinch needed help, that was always the plan,
His old dog just panted and barked out, �Iran.�

�Me too� said the Grinch, �Two miles today.�
The old dog just sighed and muttered, �Oy vey.�
�Sell them the goods, sound the alarms!
�We have a new enemy with nuclear arms.�

The Grinch liked this plan, it had froth, it had fizz,
And who cared if he didn�t know what nuclear is.
And he chuckled, and clucked, �What a great Grinchy trick!
Then he said to his doggy, �You�re a genius, ol� Dick.�

THEN
He grabbed up some intel
And some trusty advisors,
And shouted, �Threat! Threat!�
Hoping none were the wiser.

The Grinch ran with this plan, and carried the news
To where everyone slept, the Reds and the Blues.
�The mushrooms are up, it�s time to get down,
�Unless you don�t care about saving your town.�

Then he beat and he beat and he beat on his drum
He played his Perino, the people got numb.
But there was one thing the Grinch did not see
The group of sixteen, called the NI & E.

They said that the threat was no threat at all,
They said that the mushrooms simply won�t fall.
The Grinch was mistaken, so was ol� doggy Dick,
You have to remember, the Grinch is quite thick.

He stared down at Blue-ville and Red-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

All the Blues and Reds, the tall and the small,
Had all turned their backs, like he was nothing at all.
They�d heard it before, without any proof,
�We got you there, Grinchy. You don�t tell the truth.�

The Grinch and his doggy trudged back up the hill,
The former confused, the latter one ill.
�It was such a good plan,� wheezed ol� doggy Dick.
�I gotta lie down, I think that I�m sick.�

Then the Grinch was left all alone with his thoughts,
Which when added up, equal ought, aught and naught.
�Well,� said the Grinch. �There�s always next year.
�It�s never too early for warnings and fear.�

�It isn�t too late to have it my way,
�If I do it right, they�ll do what I say.
�Iran was a bust with that Machmahanahana Mumblejumble
�And forget about that fella called Abbabababumble.�

All night and all day the Grinch did consider
The next war he�d sell to the very best bidder.
But try as he might, the Grinch thought of nothing at all�
He forgot that his head was two sizes too small.

Happy Holidays and Peace on Earth.

� 2007 - W.R. Marshall - All Rights Reserved

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