CAMPAIGN OF THE LIVING DEAD
By
Dr. W.R. Marshall, Ph.D
May 3, 2008
NewsWithViews.com
“Someone should call a priest, or the National Enquirer: Hillary Clinton has now come back from the dead four times.” John Dickerson, Slate.com, April 23, 2008
Dickerson is on to something. He’s found the thread and now it’s time for him to do a bit of the old Woodward & Bernstein and follow this thing all the way into an underground parking lot if he has to.
Unfortunately, we live in the era of the 24 hour news cycle, where both those who report and those who watch have ADD, so by now some celubutante has run her car into an animal shelter, or a presidential candidate has said 'hard', 'harsh' or ‘severe’ about some part of the electorate, and we’ve all been distracted from the horrifying truth that Dickerson disclosed.
But I’m too distracted to be distracted by the endless distraction of newsfortainment, so I picked up where Dickerson left off…and you’re not going to like what I found:
Hillary Clinton is a zombie.
But not just any zombie. Not your old skool, undead, slow moving, flesh-eating, inarticulate zombie. Nor is she your modern, more athletic, lighting fast, highly communicable zombie. And she isn’t your pork barrelin’, budget-bustin’, gutless congressional zombie. Not even your big-talkin’, bigger spendin’, Cheney lovin’, screw the little guy, Republican zombie.
This is a whole new breed of zombie…and there’s more than one…and they’re multiplying exponentially…
It’s an entire race of soulless, hyper-political, super atomic Hillary zombies, who feed on one thing – POWER!
Think about it. What else could it be?
How else could she do six talk shows – many of which are on at the same time – in one morning?
How else could she show up at campaign appearances on opposite sides of the state – at the same time?
It’s too late now. We should have boarded up our windows and doors, lit bonfires in the front yard, had the greatest minds in America working on a cure. Sure, we’d still be facing a small crisis in erectile dysfunction, but if we’d put the same kind of Manhattan Project-like energy into the zombie Hillaries problem that we have into making sure baby-boomers could still get wood, we wouldn’t be faced with most destructive force to the Democratic Party since Mike Dukakis strapped up and climbed into an M1 Abrams tank.
Now the Democrats have to live with the very specific undead among them. Every day they infect more people. Ever day they infect the Party, making it weaker, scattering survivors, who hide out in root cellars and caucus rooms waiting to vote…afraid to vote the ‘wrong way’. Those who escape infection today will eventually have to make their way to Denver for the convention – which is just what the super atomic zombie Hillaries want.
What’s left of the Democratic Party will all be in the same place at the same time – in the same room with the zombie Hillaries. It’ll be a bloodbath. It’ll make the films of George A. Romero look like Three Stooges outtakes. It’ll make Chicago ’68 look like a Boy Scout Jamboree. No one will escape, the entire party will be infected. The survivors, what few there are, will limp away and hide. The zombie Hillaries will insure a McCain victory in November, and he’ll finish the work Bush/Cheney started.
Then, we’ll all wander the wasteland that was once America.
And four years from now, when it’s time to do this all over again, when the virus has become pandemic, we’ll crawl out of the wreckage to find the only candidates running, are super atomic zombie Hillaries.
� 2008 - W.R. Marshall - All Rights Reserved
