THE COSTANZA DEFENSE
By
Dr. W.R. Marshall, Ph.D
July 20, 2008
NewsWithViews.com
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex…you can’t turn around without bumping into another story about sex. It’s almost like we’re Europe.
Things ain’t good. We have a trillion dollar war grinding on, a truly arrogant and almost dictatorial regime running things, (did Cheney’s “So” remind anyone else of Marie Antoinette’s putative comments to the starving peasants at the palace gates), and an economy that’s reminding the few living survivors of the Great Depression that the bad old days aren’t so old. Speaking of old, someone wake up Grandpa McSame and tell him it’s time to campaign again, but not too hard because the Democrats are figuring out how to lose this one all by themselves.
Gas prices are ridiculous, bread is going through the roof, the dollar is sinking faster than Hillary’s credibility, and yet, in the midst of all this real world tumult, we get a daily dose (of course it’s an intentional pun) of sex.
First Spitzer and a young woman whose Bat Mitzvah I swear I went to a few years back. (Got her a Berkshire Hathaway B Share and never even got a phone call let alone a special massage.) Lots of weeping and gnashing of teeth over that, but it ended pretty quickly as this things go. Nothing drawn out, no, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
New York gets a new guy and seemingly within minutes of David Paterson sitting in the big chair, he get a crisis of conscience and admits having extramarital sex, doing drugs, and any minute now we’re expecting him to confess to being part owner of Bada-Bing.
Before anyone had a chance to figure out what it meant to have a governor confessing to sex who just replaced a governor who confessed to sex, Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is indicted on twelve counts of legal stuff, but it’s all about him having sex with his chief of staff in the mayor’s mansion – and, one would guess, a few other places. Kilpatrick is denying something or other, but it didn’t sound like he’s denying the sex.
So, before the next randy office holder confesses or gets caught, I give you the Costanza Defense, as first presented by George Costanza of Seinfeld:
Mr. Lippman: It's come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?
George Costanza: Who said that?
Mr. Lippman: She did.
George Costanza: [pause] Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.
And there it is – simple ignorance of the facts works everytime…hell, it’s got Bush eight years in the White House.
� 2008 - W.R. Marshall - All Rights Reserved
