W.R. Marshall -- Blackwater-The Knights Templar Live

BLACKWATER-THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR LIVE

by Dr. W.R. Marshall, Ph.D
October 14, 2007
NewsWithViews.com

Back in the old days, way back before all these annoying laws about individual rights and international treaties and some bizarre notion of universal equality, there were a group of guys who were sent east to take care of business.

They were the Knights Templar; butt-kickin� monks, European bad boys who joined the Crusades to protect high value Christian assets in the Holy Land. They showed up and showed the Infidel who was the boss of bosses down Jerusalem way. The Templars were devout true believers who read the Good Book but found when the stuff hits the fan, turning the other cheek was a mugs game and you could get the job done better by sticking a dagger up the other guy�s strap, then heading down the ol� pilgrim trail with a trunk full of his goodies.

These dudes weren�t just knights, they were connected knights. Thanks to their fundamentalist C.E.O., Bernard de Clairvaux (who, when he got out of the death and plunder business got a sweet appointment to sainthood), the Knights Templar got a fat, no bid contract from Pope Honorius II and zero oversight�except from the Pope, who was too busy deciding a lot of other decisions to worry about a bunch of gung-ho contractors just doing their job.

Things were going great, the Templars were getting rich and powerful, they were given land and titles, and it was all good. Then, as occupations often go, the Muslim world united, there was more and more Christian factionalism, and by the early 14th Century the Templars, along with the rest of the Christian crusaders, had their rear ends kicked all the back to Europe. (Don�t worry about this happening again. First; America is farther from Jerusalem than Europe. More importantly, no one in the Bush administration has ever read any history, so it can�t repeat itself, right?) Eventually the Templars lost their patron (he either died or lost the mid-term) and the Knights were going to be brought up on charges. But word was leaked and the Templars loaded their enormous wealth on their enormous fleet of ships and were never seen again.

Some say they went underground and were part of that DaVinci Code nonsense where they hid a pregnant Mary Magdalene somewhere in southern France, and right now the great-great-great-great-great grandson of Jesus himself is buying a baguette and some brie in a little shop on Rue de Nutjob.

Then there�s a theory they came to America. Think like a Templar for a minute: you have a lot of money, you�re real smart, you�re a devout fundamentalist, and you have an empty land in which to prosper. You just didn�t figure closet atheists like Jefferson and Washington would end up in charge when the new nation formed.

But since you�re familiar with things going wrong�you�re still a little miffed about being chased out of Europe�you have a backup plan. You�ve put most of your money and effort into Michigan.

Michigan is pretty much Canada, so as a place for major industry to serve the rest of an enormous nation, it doesn�t make much sense. But if you wanted to somehow legitimize millions of dollars while at the same time fly under the political radar�Michigan�s a great choice. Is it a coincidence that it�s also home to tens of thousands of right wing, heavily armed, highly organized militia loonies? If you have a gun, a grudge, and a uniform, Michigan is the place for you. (A similar ad for Malta ran in 1486.)

So you�re a lonely, rich, devout Templar living in Michigan, investing in this new nation and biding your time. You even take an American name, although you don�t want to be that American, so you keep a little touch of the old royalty and call yourself, Prince.

And, lo, seven hundred years after the Templars get a Middle Eastern ass-whoopin� the nation elects a guy, who, it turns out doesn�t want to be king, he wants to be Pope. (Cheney wants to be king.) Better yet, he wants to be an old school Pope so he starts a new Crusade in the Holy Land.

Now the patience of the Templars pay off, especially for the Prince family, who�ve spent their considerable wealth supporting evangelical candidates for elected office, and, in their spare time, bought six thousand acres in North Carolina and started a Templar training facility known as Blackwater-USA.

Just like in the days of Honorius II, Pope Dubya I has given his close friend Erik Prince a no-bid contract to protect modern State Dept. pilgrims�and future Halliburton execs. Equipped with the latest and best equipment money can buy, much better than what the Pope sees fit to give his own military (wait, Templar/Blackwater is his army), they crusade against the Infidel with no accountability and a simple motto: shoot anything that isn�t Christian�and maybe some stuff that is.

This may seem a bit disturbing, but frankly with all the revelations of mismanagement that have attended this war, it�s nice to see some planning went into this latest Crusade. Quite a bit actually, this Iraqi adventure was seven hundred years in the making. (Iraq is not quite the Holy Land, but the day ain�t over.) I know many of you have become rather cynical about all the �not nation building� going on over there, but I have a feeling it�s all going to work out this time�really.

W. R. Marshall is a syndicated columnist and novelist. His column, 'A Dull Ache'(tm) is read in over one hundred markets around the world. He also has a PhD, an M.F.A., and three singularly unimpressed children. His wife has been known to say, �Hey, Pynchon, do the dishes.�