JESUS IS BURIED AND PART GORILLA?

 

 

 

By Dr. Laurie Roth Ph.D.
March 9, 2007
NewsWithViews.com

Just when you thought you were enlightened beyond belief a few years back, when the activist gay community painted Jesus as gay in the Broadway play, now our inspiration turns profound again with James Cameron declaring he has found the grave of Jesus, his wife Mary and their son in Israel. Of course, he had the DNA proof and just KNEW that those were the body remnants of Jesus' family. Of course, all of us imbeciles never knew that Jesus was married and had a kid and Jesus never said he did, but why confuse anyone with the facts when you can try and lift up a struggling career with declarations from Fantasy Island??

I know you are truly moved so hold on to your shirt when I tell you something even more riveting to your faith. Jesus wasn't born of the Virgin Mary. He was born of a gorilla. Lets just hope he could have found bananas when he roamed the earth 2000 years ago. You think I'm nuts����.well, according to Ruth Rimm a Bronx school teacher who has written a book called "Lost Spiritual World," that is exactly the fact. Jay Baggett, in a World Net Daily article tells all about this lovely piece of work. "Lost Spiritual World" "explores the emergence of a new global spirituality that mixes the best of each wisdom tradition with the latest findings in psychology, quantum physics, neuroscience, and linguistics." We are also told of new and exciting parables in this new Bible�..Parable of the Dolphin, Parable of the Snow Leopard and Parable of the Gorilla. Isn't that special!!! Of course, the enlightened among us know that you can't really deal with your spiritual needs and who Jesus REALLY is without all the other "wisdom traditions" thrown in to guide us through our endless mental health complexities and needs.

Thank the Lord I can go to more sane news the last few weeks to remind me of the endless mental health needs, regarding Brittany, shaving her head and in and out of rehab and who the Daddy of the baby of you know who! Then, there is Lisa Nowak, the rising star for NASA and astronaut who drove cross-country in a diaper to allegedly get revenge against another lady apparently getting to close the guy she just had to have. This week she was fired by NASA apparently. Good!!! You see, I have trouble imagining anyone driving around in a diaper handling heavy equipment, like a space ship and pointing it in any direction close to the earth. "Hide under the bed everyone!!! Here she comes aiming at some chicks in Houston with pepper spray from Mars this time. No thank you.

I am just glad that Jesus is not just Holy and Fair, but also FULL of mercy, love and grace, or we all would be looking up from a very dark and hot place right now! I also would like to point out that for centuries Jesus and Christians have been assaulted, helically shredded, mocked and insulted and I don't see fatwas flying everywhere, buildings blowing up and body parts flying. We put up with it and try and fight for basic freedoms legally and through mind and spirit channels, not bombs and guns like certain other faiths where one dares to even question!!!

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In closing you may totally disagree with me�..it is a free country and you have that right but allow me to respond from my heart and spirit also. Jesus Christ IS the son of GOD and is who HE said HE is. Grace won't always be found�..judgment will come. Be ready! The only person or persons who should contemplate that Jesus is stuck in a grave somewhere are those who should be more concerned if not horrified as to the look of their after life state. In closing, I will confess, based on the behavior of so many in Hollyweird, many in congress and the media I do believe some have been born of gorillas!!!! And it ain't Jesus!!! Lets stop sending emails and faxes to congress. I know where there is a huge sale on bananas from Mexico!!!

� 2007 Dr. Laurie Roth - All Rights Reserved

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