Immortality For Dummies

This is, like, so simple! All you’ve got to do is slow the clock way down and reverse that universal law of thermodynamics that says that all systems naturally and inevitably grow more random with the passage of time, until they break down. God addresses this by translating souls to a place where time is not an issue; but in this fallen world, it is. So you hire lots of Science and you cure aging! No sweat.