Yee-hah! A new state holiday

The governor and legislature of Illinois have proclaimed August 4 “Barack Obama Day”. And believe it or not, there was not a single vote against it in the legislature. So no one can be accused of being a hater.

It does seem fitting that The Worst President Ever be honored by what appears to be the most grossly mismanaged state in the union—of all 57 states, as Mr. Obama might say. The whole state is going bankrupt. The Chicago Public School District is on the hook for $850 million in interest on a $500 million loan. How did they do that? Ah, the miracle of Blue State finances…

Obama is being honored, says the proclamation, because he has “dedicated his life to going on vacation”—no, no, it should read “protecting the rights of Americans” and, oh, boy, “building bridges across communities.” What kind of bridges? The kind looters have to cross to get to the stores during a riot.

Despite its being a holiday, the state can’t afford to close government offices and schools to celebrate and private businesses are expected to remain open, too—if they’re still in business at all. But it won’t cost anything to honor Obama by going deeper and deeper into the financial hole.

If you don’t live in Illinois, you may be jealous of that state getting a new holiday that your state doesn’t have yet. But rather than allow all 57 states simultaneously to declare Barack Obama Day a holiday, it would be great Social Justice if each state had to earn the right to do so. Before it can legitimately proclaim its own Barack Obama Day, your state should have to go bankrupt, too.

Wow, think of the money any state could save if most people were already out of work. Then they wouldn’t have to take time off work to celebrate the holiday!

Celebrate by changing your gender, using new pronouns that some college professors just made up, signing up for food stamps, and declaring your home town a sanctuary city! Get into the swing of things by pursuing your own personal bankruptcy. And commit a crime or two.

And now, to turn to another matter dear to Mr. Obama’s er, heart, let us turn to Man-Made Global Warming, known otherwise as Climate Change when the weather is cold.

Dig this headline from The Australian: “Temperature readings plunge after Australia’s Bureau of Meteorology orders end to ‘Tampering’”. Putting a stop to fiddling with the temperature readings—damn, that’s no way to celebrate Obama Day! They’d never, never get away with that, if Obama were their president and Loretta Lynch their attorney general!

It seems the folks who were reporting the temperatures used these “smart cards” that had the virtue of filtering out the coldest temperatures, which then, as if by magic, vanished from the record. Liberals use the word “smart” kind of like Long John Silver used it—as in it’s “smart” to murder the men who want to be paid their fair share of the loot.

And suddenly it’s some 10 degrees Centigrade cooler in Australia. All because they got rid of the smart cards.

Now that’s no way to Save The Planet from Global Warming! I mean, it’s so insulting, so disrespectful, to all those wonderful leaders and sages who are only trying to increase their power over us for our own good. Really, who cares that the whole thing is the biggest scam in human history? We want a global government!

And once we get one—well, every day will be Barack Obama Day.

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