Portland Oregon: Dem Women’s Naked Bike Ride!

by Rev. Austin MilesPORTLAND —For those groups of select men who secretly lust after Nancy Pelosi and Dianne Feinstein (God forbid), they will have the opportunity to stroke that lust on Thursday evening, October 8th, 2020 in Portland Oregon. On that evening, a gaggle of naked democrat women will ride stark naked down the main streets of the city. It is said there will be a full moon that night as a full mooning bike ride takes place. This bare butt bike ride will emphasize to the world that this is a ‘protest of the fast track appointment being given to Amy Coney Barrett being confirmed to the Supreme court to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg. “Not so fast” the bare butts scream.

While nudity is illegal in Portland, all protests while dressed or undressed is legal as long as it is a protest. So there!

While the bikers will all be naked, they will have the good taste and professionalism to wear covid face masks. That is the only article of clothing required for this soiree. While public nudity is prohibited in Portland, call it a “protest” and it covers the riders in the buff. Get that? Now don’t get your knickers in a twist. We DO have a 1st Amendment Free Speech protection in the Constitution, “the right to protest.” We can only determine that this covers not being covered….or….being buck naked as long as it is called a protest.

Police will be present throughout the ride to make sure the covet masks are worn properly. They will check each woman rider thoroughly. The event is properly called, Full Moon Naked Ride, which could add Full Moon Naked Ride while Mooning. That would be more accurate.

So let’s go over this again about how this is even legal since there is a law against nudity in the city? Portland courts, police, and city officials did enough mental gymnastics to conclude that because the naked bike riders are technically ‘protesting,’ then it is protected 1st Amendment free speech, as the Oregonian explained earlier this year.

We published this piece feeling that the Oregon Folk need for this event to be covered! Got that? For those of you wanting to do the skin ride, the initial gathering point is in Northeast Portland.

Yep, Portland is the hot spot for things like this naked bike ride along with other bizarre events that only the feeble minded could enjoy. But why the surprise? They are all democrats there.

Our gratitude to Brock Simmons who broke this story.
Photo Courtesy of The Oregonian

E-Mail Austin Miles: chaplainmiles@aol.com