by Lee Duigon
July 7, 2022
How do you get the Climate Change legislation that you really want? I don’t mean any half-baked toothless regulations for recycling your muesli cartons—no! I mean rock-hard, in-your-face, take-no-prisoners Climate Change laws. With jail time for anyone who dares to object.
Our friends at Far Left Crazy had to wear out their thinking caps, but they finally came up with something. Never underestimate the power of a modern education.
How do you get serious Climate Change legislation? Hold onto your birkenstocks.
**You glue yourself to famous paintings! And also slash people’s tires for having the wrong kind of car. But the caper with the paintings has grabbed all the headlines.
This is how you get a world without oil. Hey, wait a minute! Those are oil paintings, aren’t they? Well-hell! No way that slips past us! We didn’t take Nothing Studies for nothing.
So you find a classic famous work of art and you glue yourself to the frame! Make sure you’ve got your message printed on your T-shirt or a piece of cardboard: something catchy, something edifying. Like “No More Oil!” Oh—and make sure you use Crazy Glue or something equally strong, so no one can pull you loose.
This tactic really works! So far “climate protesters” have hit a Van Gogh in France, a Constable in London—and Leonardo da Vinci’s “The Last Supper.” The Leonardo was only a full-size copy, but you’ve got to give an A for effort. And in New York they slashed a bunch of tires.
Anyhow, there you are, glued to the picture-frame by Crazy Glue—and some enemy of the people asks, “What happens if you have to go to the bathroom?” Uh-oh. Well, who can think of everything? You practically burned out your brain just getting this far. I mean, you could have very easily brought along a jar of mayonnaise instead of the glue, and then where are you? Boy howdy, this is real life. It’s supposed to be harder than college.
But now let’s look at the bright side. If they ever want to enjoy this great art again, without having to look at social justice wackos glued to it—well, they’re just gonna have to give up fossil fuels, won’t they? You’ve got them over a barrel. Switch to origami-powered windmills, world, or say goodbye to Andy Warhol! Can’t you already hear them saying “Uncle”?
Every dindle knows the world will run just fine if the common people have no more access to the benefits of gas and oil, and have to eat bugs instead of meat. Save that Kobe beef, that fresh-caught sea bass, for big wheels at the World Economic Forum, as a reward for their inspired leadership. Politicians, movie stars, Big Tech grandees, and celebrities of every stripe deserve to live in luxury! It’s a privilege to work and sacrifice, if it keeps them in private jets, stretch limos, and mansions fifteen feet above the tide line.
It is amazing, though, that it took the Woke world so long to think of this can’t-miss scheme. And now that Extinction Rebellion has thrown in with us, it can’t fail.
Did somebody say “extinction”? But who cares? Everyone who deserves it will simply have xer brain uploaded into a computer and locked into a gender-fluid robot… and that will be that.
Imagine a world of infallible wokesters!
And without a single drop of oil.
I have discussed these and other topics throughout the week on my blog, http://leeduigon.com/ . Click the link and drop in for a visit—before they come for us. My articles can also be found at www.chalcedon.edu/ .
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