Princeton University is looking to hire a “men’s engagement manager” to exorcise the campus from “aggressive masculinity.” In college-speak “aagressive or hyper masculinity” means “any masculinity.” Colleges are down on masculinity.

It makes one wonder what kind of world our leftid brain trust would build for us, if only we’d just shut up and let ‘em do it. What kind of cage would they put up around us, if they could—and call it “justice”? It takes liberals to discredit a fine old world like “justice.”

For starters, it’s clear they’ll weed out “masculinity.” But what does that mean, exactly? If it’s “masculine” behavior, what’ll they do when women act like—well, male stereotypes? Beer, football, coarse jokes—even Princeton hasn’t suggested what ought to be done if a woman insists on “acting male.” I mean, they want the guy to act female—what about vice-versa? If it stumps P.U., it’s bound to stump you.

True, they could get rid of masculinity by abolishing men: better social justice through technology. “Gender reassignment surgery” could be made compulsory for everyone who has the XY chromosome. It would, of course, require some serious political gymnastics to get this enacted into law; but even liberals can dream.

If the economy won’t bear 150 million sex-change operations, leftids have, for years now, done everything in their power to promote and encourage homosexuality. That their whole enterprise is boundlessly offensive to God—“male and female created He them,” remember (Genesis 1:27)—will never trouble any left-wing humanist. That it might, coupled with abortion on demand, render humanity’s position as a species biologically untenable, is another thought that doesn’t bother them at all. Hey, just download liberals’ minds, if you can find them, to a computer, and they’ll live forever—700 more years of Nancy Pelosi. They won’t have to reproduce.

But just as important as eradicating masculinity, to leftids, is to Save The Planet from the scourge of Climate Change, which is caused by us peasants living too high on the hog. Ultimately this will require drastic alterations in our modern way of life: doing without cars, air conditioning, private housing, toilet paper, and meat in our diet, just to name a few. It is understood that none of this is to be imposed on mankind’s (oops!) wise and glorious rulers. I mean, what’s the point of ruling the world if you can’t have a mansion or two, a private jet, a limousine, and Kobe beef? Being the master is a hard job, and must be richly compensated. If you think it’s a picnic, being John Kerry or Leonardo DiCaprio, just try it sometime.

And so we wind up with a world of leftist maharajahs ruling over a dwindling population of wandering, homeless, sexless vegetarians, plucking morsels of tree-bark if they can find any, limping across what used to be international borders, just trying to stay alive another day. The planet is saved, the borders are erased, masculinity has been wiped out, resistance is impossible, and the rulers can still jet off to Davos to congratulate themselves on a job well done.

And for those who still can’t get behind the program, there are always the camps.

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